Is All Work and No Play Okay?

Or do we need to love in order to work well. Well we all know that one person in the office that is clearly over worked and under fucked. These over achievers have a full time job and are divorced from any kind of normal social life. You can tell because they drive everyone (except maybe the CEO) crazy and take work matters way too seriously. They make others in the workplace look bad because they may sometimes tattle about collegues’ phone, Facebook, and personal email use. So people are wondering, “Is it better to have a full time job and no life or a full time life and part-time job?” 

For the most part, work lives and love lives have been seen as polar opposite, non-overlapping life matters. But it’s hard to argue that there has to be some sort of relationship between work satisfaction and relationship satisfaction, no matter how small. I mean first of all, work relationships are fairly common just because the pool of eligible singles dramatically decreases as soon as one finishes undergrad. Even in graduate programs a significantly larger percentage of students are married or engaged compared to undergraduate programs.

Do we need to focus on work, instead of focusing on fun in our lives? Well Freud, the Father of Psychology, thinks not, he suggested that the overarching goal of psychotherapy is to allow the patient to love and to work. And notice he lists love first suggesting it may be first and foremost important. In fact, even employers looks for employees with stable family and love lives. It is far more useful for employers to hire someone with a wife and children because they know they have incentive to keep their job and they have the motivation to do the work that is expected from them.

Is it even beneficial to put work over love in the long term? To answer that, there is evidence the people with secure attachment styles are also very successful when it comes to work: they are less likely to put off work, are least likely to have difficultly completing tasks, they enjoy their vacation time, and are less likely to let work jeopardize their life. But those with alternative attachment are both unsuccessful at relationships and at work…so there is a connection! The exact connect cannot be pinpointed because not enough research has been conducted on the relation between the two.

             There is no reason that pursuing your personal life within reason has to come in between or sacrifice any of your work efforts. So if you’re waiting to plan your next vacation or if you’re weary of asking your boss to let you leave early to get ready for a hot date tonight, I hope you GO FOR IT!...... Not like I’m condoning sexting or Skyping during work...

But if you live a little then you’ll see you’ll work a little harder too. 

Chasing Money & Chasing Women

Welcome to the second installment of The Guide to Businessmen and Ladies Men. Today we are looking at the way successful men handle their money is similar to the way they handle their women. Act too slow and you could lose your opportunity but strike to hard and fast and you could destroy an opportunity. How do you fine the perfect balance? 


Taking the same principles you use to promote and market a product can be used to promote and hype up yourself. I bet you've heard of launch parties for new products, but have you heard of launch parties for people? Successful men take every opportunity to boost their reputation and appeal as they would with a product or service they are offering. One ladies man told me the best way to do this is to throw a huge party and let the people speak for you. Once you impress one girl in a group you practically have the respect of the entire group. This technique is used to network but can also be used as an effective method to attract women to you. 

A wise ladies man from DC once told me quite eloquently, "You can never lose bitches chasing money, but you will always lose money chasing bitches." What does this mean? It mean that you have to spend the bulk of your time and energy on furthering yourself instead of impressing women or else the women will never be impressed. If you spend all your spare time and money whisking soulless women out on dates, even though it's a number game, you will not succeed. Investing your emotion on a woman is risky business for a man and do so boldly but cautiously as you would approach an big, long term investment.  


Want that go getter, player mind set? A ladies man I interviewed in Miami recommended reading this controversial, but still informative passage from Machiavelli's The Prince to get the learn the kind of attitude that attracts women:

"Fortune changes and men stubbornly continue to behave in the same way, men flourish when their behavior suits the times and fails when they are out of step. I do think however, that it is better to be headstrong than cautious, for fotune is a lady. It is nessary if you want to master her to beat and strike her and she often submits to those who act boldly than those who proceed in a calculating fashion. Morever since she is a lady she smiles on the young, for they are less cautious, more ruthless and overcome her with their boldness" 

To those analytical, high thinking people take away from this what you will. But I warn, do NOT take it literally! Most men get so nervous about even talking to women or getting close a woman they have feelings for. But reading this and keeping that mindset in the back of your head will help you guys muster the confidence to WOW any girl that approaches you. 

New Series: The Guide to Being a Businessman & Ladies Man

Have you noticed how generally men who are successful at business are also successful at getting women too? That’s because they use the same principles to succeed at both. I interviewed ladies men from around the country to get their tips and tricks. This is the first of three installments of the Rules of Business & Bitches.

 1.) Establish Authority: 

 Men who don’t stand up for themselves are picked on at the workplace and used, stood up, or both by women. Men who establish their authority at the start of a job are respected by their associates and they are also respected by women. An easy way to establish authority is by using statements when you speak, instead of by using questions. Read more about this in my previous blog: You See a Hot Girl, Now What? Don’t be afraid to make strong eye contact, when you look at someone in the eye and they look down- that is subordinate behavior and it subconsciously sets the tone for authority. Paying attention to your body language is as important in the board room as much as in a bar. Making snide jokes or comments can be another passive move that can subconsciously establish power. One of the ladies men from LA I interviewed said that he never approaches girls, because he doesn't need to. The way he carries himself and decorates himself does it for him. He strongly recommends wearing accessories, Mystery Method's Infamous peacocking technique, because he says it gives girls a non-threatening conversation technique. He lets business deals and bitches come to him by establishing authority while no being overly aggressive. Whether you're talking business or women, the rule is the same: you have to be firm with what you say and how you carry yourself.  If you promise something you have to back it up, and the same goes for people who challenge you. And you can maybe integrate some pick-up techniques WITHIN REASON, while you're at it.

Want more rules to ace business and women? Did you know that you are more productive at work when you take 5 minute breaks every hour? Why not read Rule # 2 in the Guide to Businessmen and Ladies Men during your productivity break tomorrow, Friday April 27th? Tune in Tomorrow for the Second Installment: Chasing Money & Chasing Women