Ms. Date Guru's Monthly Dating Dish Column: "Creative Date Ideas, No Matter What Your Status"

By Jessica Berdan

Written especially for Rachel Russo's Status Makeover Blog:

Are you planning a big date with someone new or a live-in girlfriend this weekend? Feel free to take inspiration from some of these ideas and prepare to wow her pants off- literally. For this one, I will be combining Rachel’s philosophies with mine! I think you shouldn’t let anything get in the way of your love life–even time & especially money. I believe it is better to have more low cost dates than a few super dates. Rachel is always stressing how to make the best out of your love life, no matter your status. And with these date ideas you’re guaranteed a good time with your partner whether you’re going on your first date, are seeing each other, are in a relationship, or if you’re cohabitating. These dates are out of the box and in most cases the only cost is transportation, so you have no excuse!

Use these ideas to spice up your date tonight!

If It’s Your First Date:

Everyone knows how important first impressions are. That’s why you need to wow her by avoiding the cliché dinner and movie. (However, Rachel never underestimates the importance of a great meal and often states her idea of the perfect first date as breakfast, lunch, or dinner!)  Anyway, we both agree that it is crucial to make effort to capture a woman’s interest.

The formula for a perfect first date:

an activity that is a conversation starter + a social, but intimate setting where you can hear each other speak 

= a great first date.

For example:

* Go to a free art gallery opening: Check the Style and Metro section in your local newspaper for free & fun cultural events daily!

* Try an active couple’s activity like playing tennis or going on a speed walk around the park.
Get your heart rate up! Studies show that getting your heart rate up makes the opposite sex appear more attractive. The increased heart rate and endorphins are also characteristics of attraction. People mistakenly attribute physiological effects of physical activity with feelings of attraction and love.

If You’re Seeing Each Other:
You see each other from time to time. You’re not exclusive but you want to change things up and do something other than hanging out with friends.

* Discover a new part of town. Live in Manhattan and never been to Brooklyn? Why not go with your partner? Sharing new experiences together also increases those “feel good feelings” that will create greater attraction and a deeper connection. Doing these fun things are shown to produce endorphins which are like a self-produced, natural, legal drug. So you can skip the alcohol.

Subscribe to discount event websites like UrbanDaddy.com to find fun events in your city at low prices.

* Go to lunch or happy hour instead of dinner. As mentioned previously, it is better to do low cost dates a few times a week than lavish dates once in a while, especially when you’re dating someone new.

What better way to break the daily monotony than a fun lunch/happy hour with the person you’re seeing? Make sure to check out all the great deal sites out there like Living Social Instant Deals. They have great flash sales on their site offering $30 food and drink credit for just $10 in most major US cities!

If You’re in a Relationship:

You have been in a relationship for a while and start getting comfortable you need to shake things up and do something new! Skipping your regular spots once in a while is good because it shows you’re open minded and like up for trying new things.

* Go apple, strawberry, blueberry, coconut picking. No matter where you live, there are plenty of local farms where you can pick fresh, local produce. It is not only great for the environment and for you, but it is an active, romantic activity that you most likely haven’t done since childhood. These are great because you only pay for what you pick and can choose based on freshness and quality. Often it is more costly than produce you’ll find in grocery stores.

Making something together is a good exercise in couples building. Why not kill two birds with one stone and make a great pie or dish with what you pick? Go to foodnetwork.com for the most scrumptious recipe ideas. You can search recipes by ingredient, and meal (dinner, dessert, lunch, etc…) Happy cooking!

* Take a trip together:
Many people are so stressed with the daily grind, school, or a job that they are rarely present or aware, even with their boy/girlfriends. The best way to break the monotony is to go somewhere new and exciting. No matter how close or far, a little change of surroundings can change a lot. Traveling together is an exercise in couples building as well. Check out this site for great travel ideas from small towns to Europe backpacking destinations here!

If You’re Cohabitating:
You see each other every day. The problem isn’t time together; it is lack of romance or spontaneity. A little surprise can go a long way. There are many ways to reintroduce the excitement and romance, while sharing a residence.

* Go to a wine tasting at a local vineyard
This is a romantic idea that’s well worth the research and planning. Check out local vineyards near you. Admission often includes a tour, wine discounts, and the equivalent of 2-3 glasses of wine. You don’t need to go to California to get great wine; it could be right outside your city.

* Decorate Your Place or Rearrange the Furniture
The perfect prelude to a romantic dinner or drinks out is antipasto at home. Change your surroundings up, rearrange your furniture for free or get a great table cloth, candles and candle holders to decorate. Set up a fruit and cheese platter, nuts, meats or whatever you like. If you’re not the best cook, get something frozen and a glass of wine.

Even if you have to get off work early the little things really make all the difference and effects of re-energizing your relationship will make it well- worth it. Extra Credit, whisk your partner to a restaurant, lounge or bar after!

Jessica Berdan is Ms. Date Guru by day and relationship connoisseur by night on a mission to revive chivalry and teach girls everywhere how to go from doormat to dream girl. She is the Resident Blogger for Ms. Date Guru and Assistant for top NYC Dating, Relationship, & Image Coach, Rachel Russo. You can follow Jessica on Twitter here @msdateguru

Chasing Money & Chasing Women

Welcome to the second installment of The Guide to Businessmen and Ladies Men. Today we are looking at the way successful men handle their money is similar to the way they handle their women. Act too slow and you could lose your opportunity but strike to hard and fast and you could destroy an opportunity. How do you fine the perfect balance? 


Taking the same principles you use to promote and market a product can be used to promote and hype up yourself. I bet you've heard of launch parties for new products, but have you heard of launch parties for people? Successful men take every opportunity to boost their reputation and appeal as they would with a product or service they are offering. One ladies man told me the best way to do this is to throw a huge party and let the people speak for you. Once you impress one girl in a group you practically have the respect of the entire group. This technique is used to network but can also be used as an effective method to attract women to you. 

A wise ladies man from DC once told me quite eloquently, "You can never lose bitches chasing money, but you will always lose money chasing bitches." What does this mean? It mean that you have to spend the bulk of your time and energy on furthering yourself instead of impressing women or else the women will never be impressed. If you spend all your spare time and money whisking soulless women out on dates, even though it's a number game, you will not succeed. Investing your emotion on a woman is risky business for a man and do so boldly but cautiously as you would approach an big, long term investment.  


Want that go getter, player mind set? A ladies man I interviewed in Miami recommended reading this controversial, but still informative passage from Machiavelli's The Prince to get the learn the kind of attitude that attracts women:

"Fortune changes and men stubbornly continue to behave in the same way, men flourish when their behavior suits the times and fails when they are out of step. I do think however, that it is better to be headstrong than cautious, for fotune is a lady. It is nessary if you want to master her to beat and strike her and she often submits to those who act boldly than those who proceed in a calculating fashion. Morever since she is a lady she smiles on the young, for they are less cautious, more ruthless and overcome her with their boldness" 

To those analytical, high thinking people take away from this what you will. But I warn, do NOT take it literally! Most men get so nervous about even talking to women or getting close a woman they have feelings for. But reading this and keeping that mindset in the back of your head will help you guys muster the confidence to WOW any girl that approaches you. 

New Series: The Guide to Being a Businessman & Ladies Man

Have you noticed how generally men who are successful at business are also successful at getting women too? That’s because they use the same principles to succeed at both. I interviewed ladies men from around the country to get their tips and tricks. This is the first of three installments of the Rules of Business & Bitches.

 1.) Establish Authority: 

 Men who don’t stand up for themselves are picked on at the workplace and used, stood up, or both by women. Men who establish their authority at the start of a job are respected by their associates and they are also respected by women. An easy way to establish authority is by using statements when you speak, instead of by using questions. Read more about this in my previous blog: You See a Hot Girl, Now What? Don’t be afraid to make strong eye contact, when you look at someone in the eye and they look down- that is subordinate behavior and it subconsciously sets the tone for authority. Paying attention to your body language is as important in the board room as much as in a bar. Making snide jokes or comments can be another passive move that can subconsciously establish power. One of the ladies men from LA I interviewed said that he never approaches girls, because he doesn't need to. The way he carries himself and decorates himself does it for him. He strongly recommends wearing accessories, Mystery Method's Infamous peacocking technique, because he says it gives girls a non-threatening conversation technique. He lets business deals and bitches come to him by establishing authority while no being overly aggressive. Whether you're talking business or women, the rule is the same: you have to be firm with what you say and how you carry yourself.  If you promise something you have to back it up, and the same goes for people who challenge you. And you can maybe integrate some pick-up techniques WITHIN REASON, while you're at it.

Want more rules to ace business and women? Did you know that you are more productive at work when you take 5 minute breaks every hour? Why not read Rule # 2 in the Guide to Businessmen and Ladies Men during your productivity break tomorrow, Friday April 27th? Tune in Tomorrow for the Second Installment: Chasing Money & Chasing Women