Making Moves & Relationships

I was reading an article the other day about relationship status Facebook trends. I discovered that December 25th is the day with the highest number of break ups, I considered this particularly ironic because most think of the holidays as a time to spread love, joy, and cheer. My yoga instructor put it best when she said, during the winter we are spread in two directions: retreating from the elements and wanting to crowd our schedules and do all of our endless tasks. The pull can be trying and taxing on us physically and mentally. But is the changing seasons in our environment, or lack thereof have any effect on our relationships? As I have said goodbye to many friends who have left for warmer climates, I have noticed something they all have in common: the stability of climate had a positive affect on friends, grounding them and focusing their efforts. Many of them said they didn't even notice the holiday times and weren't stressed by it. Well in Dc, in the middle of rainstorms, metro delays, and crowded malls it's almost impossible not to notice the hecticness of the holidays. But if your surrounded by palm trees and warm weather, I'de imagine it would be a bit different. With the fluidity of the year and stable environment, it's easy for people to be content whether they are single or attached. Environment isn't everything in a relationship and of course there are many other factors involved, but Im simply suggesting if the decision is to move to New York or LA, picking LA may dramatically improve your outlook and relationships.

The transition from cold to warm climate can be tricky though, and I'm not just talking about taming your frizz in the humidity, but adjusting to the change in pace and new attitude of the place you're moving. They say "When in Rome do as the Romans do" so as many of you are coming to cross roads in life and decisions of moving are put forth I challenge you to think about which location can offer you the most of what you're looking for- and move there! Are you looking for a lot of flings, try Vegas. Want to attract artsy, creative people, move to the village in New York. Want someone exotic and high energy? Miami would be right for you. Want to find an active outdoor type, Boulder is the place for you then. So do you want a dramatic change? Or will you stay in your mindset? If so, maybe you want to stay close to home. I have seen too many friends make bad decisions on their move and they end up hating it because they felt like they stick out like a sore thumb. My only exception to this rule is not to move somewhere for someone, if you want to move, Do it independently. And as New Years is approaching and you consider your resolutions, consider moving can be the easiest way to change your mindset, your experiences, and your life. Birds migrate South for the winter, maybe there's a point to that.

Xoxo,

Ms, Date Guru

Has Modern Dating Gone Two Steps Forward or Two Steps Back?

Hello readers! I'm proud to announce my partnership with a new international Blog 3six5 Dates as guest blogger. I will be delivering my insight and experience in American dating, cultural, and societal trends. I urge you to follow my posts on that site as they will include a different angle from the material on Ms. Date Guru. I will be preview my blogs on Ms. Date Guru and am welcome to feedback, praises, and criticisms. Here in my first blog I explain the progress, or lack there of, we have made since the times of feminism. Enjoy! and as always email comments and/or feedback to msdateguru@gmail.com


In this modern economic turmoil that rivals The Great Depression, we start to uncover certain inalienable truths and basic human instincts brought on by these times of desperation. We’ve come a long way from the struggles of the feminist movement where female philosophers preached, “women don’t need men,” or so we think. Now that our economy, government, and world climate crisis makes things seem more unstable than ever, many women are finding that they actually do need men.

Considering women have come a long way since the days of feminism: we can vote, we can work, we have reproductive freedoms, there’s still more to go: getting a woman in the White House, earning more than $.077 for every $1.00 a man makes, and minimizing domestic expectations on women. According to many recent studies women are marrying and having children later than past generations, not only in the U.S. but in China as well. We have more freedom over the paths our lives and careers take but still, I hear some women who would trade in their progressive rights for a 1950’s nuclear family lifestyle.

Maybe the reason women generally make $.077 to the $1.00 on men is because of their lack of drive. The esteemed John Gray, noted this as a key difference in his classic, Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus; men are driven more by power whereas women are driven more by relationships. So for most women, it’s easier to settle down and get married than land that dream job. Still there are many power women out there like: Oprah, Samantha Jones played by: Kim Cattral from Sex and the City, Sarah Palin, Beyonce Knowles, and Lynette Scavo played by Felicity Huffman from Desperate Housewives that are esteemed in their perspective industries and can balance work and a personal life. But finding that balance while maintaining femininity can be tricky for some women.

While some women like to pay the bills, many women now, rather have them paid. With the increasing popularity and prevalence of social media websites, online dating is a natural evolution in our modern, technologically driven world. The sites went from tame, networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, to ways to find singles like Craigslist, and ok cupid and now, to more tailored sites made to suit specific interests. The most provocative of these websites recently published are Seeking Arrangements, and What’s Your Price. These site promise “generous” daters promising users anything from a paid first date, to a sugar baby relationship, it’s geared towards students who need fast cash to pay off loans. It’s as easy as setting up a free account, posting a picture, setting your “allowance” and press search.

Or what about the women who flirt to get ahead? My friend in broadcast journalism has claimed to flirt with the head anchor in order to secure a job for graduation and beat out the other interns. Some may think this is a natural, acceptable method to use other may think it’s shows reliance on sex appeal. Take the famous example of Demi Moore, she dated a heartthrob in the 80’s, Bruce Willis at his peak in the 90’s, and then Ashton Kutcher in his peak in the 2000’s where she made a fiery comeback. Coincidence? I think not. Is it wrong to use sex appeal to climb your way up the corporate ladder? When you’re young can you make more money with your body or your mind? In this day and age have we actually improved from the days of feminism? Or have we taken two steps back?

So I leave you with this musical entertainment an indicator of our societal expectations. Are women just looking for some to pay their Bills, Bills, Bills?

Decode Her Text

This is my first installment of my weekly podcast on PodOmatic

Tune in on Fridays at 3 pm to the Ms. Date Guru Podcast whether your at work in the office, on a study break, or you have a question of your own. Ms. Date Guru and Bernardo Guardi are here to offer you our male/female perspective on all your toughest dating issues each week. to participate just email your dating question to msdateguru@gmail.com. We have been bombarded with inquiries lately so we're opening the floor for REAL and interactive dating advice each week. So what are you waiting for? Ask Ms. Date Guru!

Dream Guy VERSUS Dead Beat

This list came about during an innocent brainstorming session with my smart and talented friend, Amanda. I hope you like this wisdom as much as we liked preparing it. What to do when you're just not sure which category your guy falls in, just consult the guidelines below. With kind regards, Amanda and Jessica (Ms. Date Guru), future New York Times Best Selling Authors.

DREAM GUY:

- Confident
- Successful/Ambitious
- Supportive, Caring
- Has a connection with me and attraction
- Security (ability to provide)
- Takes Initiative
- Strong enough to carry me to the bed without struggling
- Tall (5'10" - 6'3")
- Sense of Humor (prevents awkward situations)
- Does not stumble over his words when he is talking to you
- His actions speak louder than his words
- Says more than "good morning" and "goodnight" when he sits across from you at the office for a year
- Puts up a good chase(persistent) and earns the catch
- Doesn't kill the suspense
- last but not least...dark hair

DEAD END DUDE:

- Lying
- Won't Give Real Name
- Makes Excuses ("My Mom says I don't spend enough time at home. So I can't come over, can you come to my house?! *Age 24*)
- Makes plans then cancels, then asks if you want to hang out rather late
- Tries to keep you a secret
- Has a lame job/no job
- Lives with Mommy and Daddy
- Is all talk
- Dead-end ambition
- Lack of Focus
- Does not prioritize me
- Being a Hero (ditches me to break up a fight and be a superhero)
- Vain
- Goofball/Clown
- Grabs my face
- Doesn't want a yacht
- bulky Meat Heads /Jersey Shore guys

To Catch A Cheater

Cheating is more prevalent than you think. Everywhere I turn, I see it. Whether it's out to lunch where I see a couple one with a wedding band and one without, to the college party where my sorority sisters cheat on their long distance boyfriends, or my friends' parents, you can't deny it happens...a lot. As Ms. Date Guru, I have come across research to further my knowledge in my future career as a marriage counselor, I have come across some statistics from the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy that prove quite troubling. They found that 60% of married men and 50% of married women will likely have an extramarital affair at some point in their marriage. And since it's unlikely that most of these adulterers are married to each other, the current statistics project that cheating happens in 80% of all marriages! And since relationships are founded in trust, cheating ruins the bedrock of relationships and cause psychological suffering. The older you get the more you get insecure you get in your relationship because your choices dwindle. Now in our 20's and 30's we are bombarded with choices from Facebook to online dating sites which make looking for a match similar to catalogue shopping. But knowing what we know about cheaters, would you want a product that can do all the detective work for you? Would you want to just know and move on? How much time would be saved if we can rest assured knowing cheaters will be uncovered? How many heart breaks would be prevented? In our new world of social networking and communications Big Brother is always watching. Take this survey to rate your attitudes on uncovering digital cheaters just follow the link, How Far Would You Go To Catch A Cheater? Survey

To find out more about Cheater's Hell Like us on Facebook and Join the facebook group,

To follow Cheater's Hell and get all updates follow us on Twitter at @Cheaters_Hell

Update on Ms. Date Guru

Hey fans! As I have acquired a fan following the expectation for expansion and growth has been more and more pressing. I'm proud to announce I am working on a website www.MsDateGuru.com that will include the blog and more! There are more ways to contact me than through facebook, I will answer any queston directly through email msdateguru@gmail.com or twitter @msdateguru tag/reply. I have listened to your inquiries and wish to make this a more interactive venue for asking questions and sharing ideas so I will be featuring a discussion board where you can ask your Q&A's even anonymously as you wish. And a Facebook page is coming soon (during break from paper writing and studying for Senior finals). I will be working with my partner aka Casanova and will make a public introduction and launch in June. We will be providing dating consulting services including, but not limited to, online dating/social networking profile creation/editing/optimization coaching, digital and telecoaching, match making, style and image consulting, professional photography for social networking/online dating profiles (including location, styling, wardrobe, hair, and make-up), customized coaching packages including expert consultations (personal training, personal shopper, hair stylist), programs to intercepts cheater's emails (Cheater's Hell). We will also be organizing events such a Ms. Date Guru Launch Party this summer in Washington's new rooftop lounge hotspot, Ozio 1813 M St. NW Washington, D.C. (202) 822.6000 date and time to be announced! We are also working with Elite Entertainment doing pick-up seminars, speed dating events with real schmoozing after free entry to party/social networking events like happy hours, clubs, and lounges. Don't fret, I am still developing content and have and will be writing for National Examiner, Huffington Post, Rachel Russo's Dear Mr. It Boy and more. Try to spot me out commented on dating discussions boards on Reddit, Yourtango, and 3six5dates. And I just had a photoshoot by award winning DC photographer, Alfredo Flores.

Tell me your thoughts, share your suggestions. My fans have encouraged and motivated me to follow my dream and I want to show my appreciation by listening to your feedback, because it got me where I am today.

The Gay Code: What To Do When a Gay Guy Hits On You

Homophobia is in the past but still sometimes my guy friend voice to me their struggles warding off gay guys. What do you do if you’re a straight guy in a club and you get hit on by a gay guy? Sometimes gay men are too ruthless and they keep pressing on, this was evident to me when a gay guy hit on my boyfriend and wouldn’t resist until I was publically making out with him. There’s 3 common routes to evade the problem from most direct to indirect here it goes. My boyfriend Nick, is blunt he takes the aggressive route and he makes it clear that he’s not gay and not interested. But the midway is my friend, Sohrab who is polite, isn’t rude but doesn’t indulge them in conversation either. He has even gotten free drinks from gay men before. He thanks them is polite and then moves on. My friend Kash is the nice guy who doesn’t want to act homophobic in the slightest sense and stays social so as to not hurt his feelings. Which approach is the best? I think that it’s unfair to lead a guy on as I have known girls who have been lead on my gay guys and get really hurt in the end. Is it better to be direct and honest or is it best to be polite and possibly lead a guy on? I need YOUR feedback! To celebrate my gay love I will be publishing GBF, My Gay Best friend Post coming soon! Because every girl wants a gay best friend

Can You Really Date a Gay Guy?

Homosexuality is a fairly new concept for our society. SOme think that it is determined at birth, other think it is learned. I remember m dad expressing concern that I would turn lesbian if I hadn't had a lot of guy over in a while. But I have a friend who was dating a guy for over 3 months before she found out he was gay! My friend, Sam just told me about how she was dating a guy who went to the same art school as her and she had never suspected anything from him by judging by their relationship or sex life. Then months later, when she was at the club with GBF (Gay Best Friend) she noticed then exchanging more then friendly glance. She didn't think anything was up until she couldn't find him anywhere in the club. So she left to the hotel they were both staying at and found her boyfriend in her GBF's room hooking up! She was shocked and she was upset for a while when she saw it happening but she decided that she was over it. She wasn't upset at her GBF, in fact I was surprised to hear she was actually grateful for him because it saved her from wasting even more time with him. She thought what gives? Why would someone pretend they were straight when they really weren't? But I think our society and sexuality education program in the U.S. emphasizes the importance of heterosexuality and people who don't fit inside that bubble feel as though they are weird when really they are just expressing their own unique sexuality. SOme call them fair weather fags, others call them indecisive. When I talked to Sexperts recently Dr Charles and Amy Miron, who said that sexuality is defined in your body by the time you reach age seven. Of course it is shocking and crude, what would you have done in that situation? Do you think sexuality is pliable? Put your opinions below.

Wise Advice to Young Men From Socialite Dwayne Mckie

I recently met DC socialite Dwayne McKie for dinner at his favorite restaurant, Ambrosia Grill. Unlike his online persona of being a playboy, who travels internationally and has friends wordlwide, I was surprised to he was very friendly and talkative. He was looking back on a lot of lessons he learned early on in the social scene of Washington D.C. He says that younger guys go crazy when they see an attractive women so that all their common sense goes out the window. He says white men go crazy over breasts while, Hispanic and Black men go crazy over "ass". He finds that even with his good reputation, buying women a drink will not impress them. In fact, he told me recently when he had a bar tab and bought some ladies he met some drinks, they left the club as soon as they were done drinking! So unlike his sweet disposition, he is always ready to fold. This is his biggest trick to relationships, the best way to get a girlfriend is by sitting back and waiting to see what happens. He says that getting a girlfriend is mostly luck which is affected by random encounters and even karma. He says that once a girl knows you’re looking for a relationship, she will be less enthusiastic about one. At the end of the day he says women have the power to say no but he tries to keep women on their toes working for HIS attention. This is his Love Potion, leaving the option to move on. You need to continually check in on your relationship. The best partners are ones who insure themselves, and their mates are satisfied. It's unhealthy to assume that you will always be together, I think. Real life is not fairy tale romance like you see in movies. Hope you enjoyed these wise words from a wise man.

Advice on Love and Sex From Dr. Charles and Amy Miron

Last week I was intrigued to find out there were two sex experts coming to the University of Maryland- Dr. Charles and Amy Miron . When I met them I instantly thought, they were a cooler version of Meet the Fockers. They are members of American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and teach sex education classes together at a community college in Baltimore. They shed some powerful insight on the dynamics of relationships and sex. They have been working together for decades which is why I asked them for their tips for couples having a romantic and business relationship. They said it is possibly to mix business with pleasure, they enjoy being together during the work day due to their good conflict resolution skills, having a strong sense of self and partner, and sticking up for themselves but at the same time still compromising. Similar to working together, living together will also give you shared experiences that might help you gather insight on whether or not your partner is right for you. They said the only way to know whether or not to settle down (or get married) to someone is to go through time and trauma with them. An anonymous question was asked about whether it was appropriate to move in with a boyfriend and they assured us that moving in is a test drive phase but to follow the two year rule. After two years, you will know if your relationship has enough to grow and share a life together. They didn’t refer to each other as husband and wife but Amy dearly described Charles as her “best friend and life partner”. They praise monogamous sex, and claim no sex is safe sex but use of condoms are safest. In terms of relationships, they support consensual monogamous sex, they have been happily married for 43 years. The thing that I found most intriguing was their sexual "limor" diminishing any preconceptions about love fading with age. They stressed that everyone has unique sexual drives and ticks. They have a unique language for the different tastes in sex. They believe have 3 basic "flavors" which are: love sex, fun sex, and sex sex. Love Sex is the deep sensual sex you see in movies that is tender. It is characterized by both partners are actively in touch Fun sex is for fun, instead of watching t.v. or playing a game together. And sex sex is sex that happens when you need to just scratch an itch, having sex to get it out of your system. And they give back too! They have been organizing a sex retreat for 9th graders to apply creative group building and teaching techniques that reach further beyond sex education in the classroom. They taught me, as an aspiring marriage counselor that marriage can last and be successful even after time. And shared their secret to having a successful relationship- asking what YOU can do to improve their relationship instead of pointing fingers or blame on your partner to put in more effort.

Have a Fun Valentine's Day- Single or Taken

Making Valentine’s Day fun, means moving away from the commercialized concept of the holiday.
Bag the chocolates, the cheap cards, and expensive dates. While those things may be fun in moderation, Valentine's Day is a wonderful holiday that celebrates Love. I like to celebrate great friends, my family, and of course important relationships to me.

Who says Valentine's Day isn't for single people? Some of my favorite Valentine's Days are dressing up and going out with my girlfriends enjoying fun, laughs, and amazing company. If you're single, try going out with friends, dinner reservations may be hard to get but if you try some unconventional ideas this may be your best Valentine's Day yet. Get together and have a pot luck at a friend's house. Bring my Valentine's Day Mac & Cheese (recipe below), or cook it for your best friend but don't forget flowers on the table. (And by flowers I mean the ones you pick on your walk home).

If you're attached get a gift for the both of you like a bath bomb from Lush. Their sex bomb is my favorite. Or get your self a new lipstick, nail polish or bra that he will like too. Do something free and active. The misattribution arousal theory shows that increased heart rate mimics the effects of arousal and stimulation like the ones you get from romantic love. So do something outdoors like play tennis or window shopping exploring the sites in your own town. Just break free from the usual routine and do something new.

Valentine's Day Mac & Cheese
2 bay leaves
1 tsp. mace
1/2 a package of Medium Shells pasta (or elbow macaroni)
1/2 a cup of whole milk
1/2 a pint of heavy cream
2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste

For Breading:
1/4 cup of panko bread crumbs
1/4 cup of Parmesan Cheese
Makes 4 servings
Prep (Pasta Boil): 15 min
Cook time: 7 minutes under a High Broiler

Start by boiling the pasta. Then heat up the cream and milk with 2 bay leaves and mace. Cook to a boil, lower the heat for 5 minutes. Take out the bay leaves, and stir in the cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste. Once the pasta is ready drain it and add the sauce. Put the mac and cheese mixture in a baking dish and combine the breading ingredients. Sprinkle the breading all over the macaroni and put under the broiler for 7 minutes. Let rest for 5 minutes and Enjoy!

Is Your Relationship A Democracy?

Many people praise equality in relationships, democratic relationships, where both partners equally help in decision making and conflict resolution. But although it works well in American government, is this the correct approach in relationships? Due to men and women's inherent differences and even personality differences in heterosexual and homosexual relationships, this may not be the best relationship logistics. I support the traditional form of relationships where each partner does what he/she knows best. Men are traditionally more decisive than women and should be the rational anchor for women's constant emotional highs and lows. Whenever either party is competing for power in the relationship, it struggles and trying to balance the power between two parties is difficult. In our government this works through a series of check and balances between the judicial, legislative, and executive branches but in relationships there are only two. Could this be why homosexual relationship report more relational satisfaction than heterosexual couples? Although much policy and social movements have centered around equality in our culture, I don't think we should apply this principle to everyday life. Instead of equality, we should think of relationships in terms of equal power. When the power balance is off in either direction, it is detrimental for relationships. When the woman is in control, the man is often seen as a pushover, and is commonly ridiculed by his friends. When the man is in power, he can be seen as the overbearing boyfriend and may prevent his acceptance from the woman's friendship circle. but more importantly than social perception, when the power is off balance one party will be less satisfied with the relationship than the other. Relationships are all about making sacrifices. I think a huge reason why relationship advising has become an industry now is because it is unlike any other. Relationships are inherently different than business relationships and I have seen many people while very successful in life, may struggle when it comes to romantic relationships. This approach to relationships is most like the socialist form of government. When there is a power imbalance or when it is used to solve conflicts, relationships may go sour. So you have to think about how much you want the relationship to work and what you can offer, instead of thinking poorly of your partner when things go wrong. Although democracy may be the best way to run this country, it is not best with matters of the heart.

Ms. Date Guru: You See A Hot Girl, Now What?

Article About 1st Impressions

Ms. Date Guru Approves of The Cosmo Bedroom Blog

This month's Cosmo-my favorite!

I, like most women, love to read Cosmo. And their Online Magazine is just as good, I found a really good "bedroom blog" about K. who is Cosmo's fictional blogger, a twenty-something chick who works in television. Here K. dishes about her sexy (and sometimes dramatic) dating adventures. I'm sure these are based on real life experiences. It's a really Juicy Read. AndThere's a lot of cool stories in here. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/bedroom-blog/
p.s. Guys, if you want to learn how women really think, read this mag. My boyfriend has learned so much already by stealing some of my magazines. 
XOXO, 
Ms. Date Guru

You See A Hot Girl, Now What?

These girls can be yours, as long as you
don't interrogate them

When reading Neil Strauss' The Game I realized there is an art of first impressions, that creates seduction. Women want to be seduced, they want a romantic experience, like they're being swept off their feet. When men think about picking up girls, they automatically start asking them questions. They can be smart questions, dumb questions, opinions, or open ended questions. By asking questions mixed with intimidation, all you’re going to get is a fake age/name, some information you don’t care about, or the finger in some cases. The key to building attraction in women is building the emotional connection. When you give girls an emotional reaction whether positive or negative it builds attraction. In my experience, the guys that I'm attracted to are the ones that I feel like I've known forever- even if we've just met. Because let’s face it, women are emotional, they love feelings, and are on emotional roller coasters. I have heard more of my friends pine over guys that ignore them than men who adore them. Trust me, women won’t appreciate the interest. Women don’t want to feel like they are on a job interview, there’s nothing enticing about that. Instead of using questions, use statements. Have you notice how you talk to your best friend? Friends that are close, often talk in statement form telling each other their opinions and ideas.  Breed that confidence and intimacy with a girl instantly by using this tactic. “Remember it’s not a game, it’s being your best self”. 

New Guest Blog on Rachel Russo's NEW Mr. It Boy Blog

I fell in love with the blog from the moment I read it. "Because men like to read this stuff too" it claimed, and I whole heartedly agree, in fact more men approach with an issue, when they find out my background, then women do. This blog is aimed to appeal to men and tell them, "what women really want." Rachel Russo works for Master Matchmakers, from the show, Tough Love, the link to this post on her site is: http://www.rachelrussosdatingadviceformen.com/

How to decode Mixed Signals with Body Language

By Jessica Berdan

According to some body language experts men have more difficulty decoding nonverbal communication. When girls get ultra-sensitive over a “nasty look” men won’t even be able to tell when a girl is shamelessly flirting with him. The top signals men should look out for are listed below:

1. When Anger Is Bubbling: Of course when she’s fuming and nagging a man knows it from a mile away, but when women are feeling passive aggressive men won’t be able to guess. It’s hard for women to show their anger. It is more socially acceptable for men to show anger and women to show sadness. That could be a reason it’s harder for men to read signs of anger in women. She may show some subtle signs like letting her mouth gape open or avoiding eye contact when you check out the waitress’s rack…..of lamb. Pay attention when it seems she’s ignoring you, ask her what’s wrong, you’ll squeeze it out eventually.

2. “Can We Leave Already?!” Signals: Recently I was in an awkward position at a holiday dinner. I was offended and couldn’t bear it any longer but my boyfriend didn’t quite get the signal. From asking to my girlfriends, “Have guys failed to respond to your nonverbal cues in the past?” The majority said yes, when they find that men don’t respond they resort to verbal communication when wanting to leave. Women send clear signals when they want to go like, grabbing her purse, looking at her watch repeatedly, gradually moving toward the door, getting up, or disengaging from the conversation. So men make sure to look out for these signals around the end of the night or when you suspect your girl’s uncomfortable, because she may not voice her feelings directly as you’d like.

3. “I’m so Bored” Signals: Many women can attest to be on a really bad date with a guy and getting their ears talked off. When you find that you’re producing the majority of the conversation, the girl is likely uninterested or doesn’t care. When you start that long talk with your bros about your favorite football team or dream car and she begins to rest her head on her hands, you can bet she probably couldn’t care less. 

4. Body Language Combined With Speech: Often women send mixed signals, their body language says one thing and their words say the opposite, which really throws men off. Women are used to picking subtle body language cues in other women but men find it harder to pick up on it like sarcasm or embarrassment. Since 90% of communication is body language it would be to your benefit to pay attention to those signals to benefit you anywhere from business to love. Because men aren’t on the alert for body language, they often choose the verbal message which can get you in sticky situations. If you’re unsure, tell her, “I don’t think that’s what you really mean”.

5. Flirting Signals: Surprising but true, if I had a quarter for every time I heard a guy say, “If I knew she liked me I would have made a move,”, I would be able to afford the diamond bra form the VS Fashion show (I know you guys know which one I’m talking about). Subtle signals like twirling her hair or batting her eyelashes are examples. Some women play hot and cold, I know, and it may be harder to pick out their body language but physical and eye contact are the best indicators. Don’t be that guy that I always hear from hitting themselves in the head over how they missed out on pursuing that cute geek in high school or the girl who sits next to you in Bio 101, or the hottie you run into on the way out of the movies. Look more closely to body language and often you will realize a women likes you more effectively than seeing if she takes your number or talking to her friend.

Xoxo,

Ms. Date Guru

Hey Mr. DJ: Interview with DJ Saam

Hey Mr. DJ

How to Get a DJ’s attention:

Don’t request a song. Saam recognizes girls that are dancing and enjoying his music rather than those who talk his ear off with requests at the DJ booth. Maybe Madonna’s advice isn’t correct, don’t ask the DJ to play your song. If you’re trying to vibe with a DJ send positive vibes and body language like nodding your head, and grooving to the beat. When Saam wants to get the ladies pumped up, he’s sure to play lots of Ke$ha and Katy Perry….out is Marvin Gaye and Luther Vandross.

If DJ Saam and Ms. Date Guru were Djing your Sack Sesh, this Would be the Playlist:

Saam says the key to a good sex mix is incorporating songs with no vocals. Words in songs can distract you from “the moment”. This mix reflects progressive house, which creates the perfect ambience for your build up. His favorite is the moonbeam sample by Marcus Schultz.

DJ Saam with my boyfriend, Nick and I at D.C.'s
hottest rooftop club, Eden

About DJ Saam:

He is from Gaithersburg, Maryland but you would never know it because now he DJS at D.C.’s hottest clubs like Eden, Lotus, and Fly. He started doing small gigs in College Park, Maryland and opening for his DJ friend. He found out the sky is the limit. He’s putting his career first before dating at this point. But he’s looking for a down to earth girl that wants him for him, not his VIP status in clubs. Speaking personally, he is a very outgoing, friendly, and respectful person, and his smile makes women weak in the knees. If any ladies who are interested in contacting this gem, email msdateguru@gmail.com

Catch him in D.C.
Eden Wednesdays
Fridays at Fly
Barcode Saturdays

Dating Expert Tracy Steinberg Talk to A Clinical Psychologist About Dating Tips

Check out her website, she is the Hitch of New York City. The video link is at: http://lifecoachtracey.com/dating-help-911/ She has her own dating show that is broadcasted online to ask her a question just tweet @datinghelp911 and of course don't forget to add me, @msdateguru