Can You Really Date a Gay Guy?

Homosexuality is a fairly new concept for our society. SOme think that it is determined at birth, other think it is learned. I remember m dad expressing concern that I would turn lesbian if I hadn't had a lot of guy over in a while. But I have a friend who was dating a guy for over 3 months before she found out he was gay! My friend, Sam just told me about how she was dating a guy who went to the same art school as her and she had never suspected anything from him by judging by their relationship or sex life. Then months later, when she was at the club with GBF (Gay Best Friend) she noticed then exchanging more then friendly glance. She didn't think anything was up until she couldn't find him anywhere in the club. So she left to the hotel they were both staying at and found her boyfriend in her GBF's room hooking up! She was shocked and she was upset for a while when she saw it happening but she decided that she was over it. She wasn't upset at her GBF, in fact I was surprised to hear she was actually grateful for him because it saved her from wasting even more time with him. She thought what gives? Why would someone pretend they were straight when they really weren't? But I think our society and sexuality education program in the U.S. emphasizes the importance of heterosexuality and people who don't fit inside that bubble feel as though they are weird when really they are just expressing their own unique sexuality. SOme call them fair weather fags, others call them indecisive. When I talked to Sexperts recently Dr Charles and Amy Miron, who said that sexuality is defined in your body by the time you reach age seven. Of course it is shocking and crude, what would you have done in that situation? Do you think sexuality is pliable? Put your opinions below.

Hey Mr. DJ: Interview with DJ Saam

Hey Mr. DJ

How to Get a DJ’s attention:

Don’t request a song. Saam recognizes girls that are dancing and enjoying his music rather than those who talk his ear off with requests at the DJ booth. Maybe Madonna’s advice isn’t correct, don’t ask the DJ to play your song. If you’re trying to vibe with a DJ send positive vibes and body language like nodding your head, and grooving to the beat. When Saam wants to get the ladies pumped up, he’s sure to play lots of Ke$ha and Katy Perry….out is Marvin Gaye and Luther Vandross.

If DJ Saam and Ms. Date Guru were Djing your Sack Sesh, this Would be the Playlist:

Saam says the key to a good sex mix is incorporating songs with no vocals. Words in songs can distract you from “the moment”. This mix reflects progressive house, which creates the perfect ambience for your build up. His favorite is the moonbeam sample by Marcus Schultz.

DJ Saam with my boyfriend, Nick and I at D.C.'s
hottest rooftop club, Eden

About DJ Saam:

He is from Gaithersburg, Maryland but you would never know it because now he DJS at D.C.’s hottest clubs like Eden, Lotus, and Fly. He started doing small gigs in College Park, Maryland and opening for his DJ friend. He found out the sky is the limit. He’s putting his career first before dating at this point. But he’s looking for a down to earth girl that wants him for him, not his VIP status in clubs. Speaking personally, he is a very outgoing, friendly, and respectful person, and his smile makes women weak in the knees. If any ladies who are interested in contacting this gem, email msdateguru@gmail.com

Catch him in D.C.
Eden Wednesdays
Fridays at Fly
Barcode Saturdays

"Don't believe anyone while drunk, in love, or running for office"

          Inspired by the lyrics in Ke$ha's new song, "Your love is my drug" I couldn't agree more. Being in love can screw up your judgement as as much as being under the influence. But still, it effects men and women differently. My conventional wisdom is, guys think more clearly after a hook up and women think more clearly before a hook-up. So as women, we should secure our bargaining power by waiting to hook up until you have secured that respect from men. When men have spent enough time around you to know you as a person a personal details like your obsession with the Phillies, your cockapoo named Daisy, or the fact that you're a total book worm, than they form attachment to you as a person and are less likely to "hit it and quit it". And if you find that a guy is unwilling to stick around when you don't hook-up with him than that is a red flag- don't pursue these types of guys. The movie, Wedding Crashers didn't coin the phrase, "stage 5 clinger" for no reason. So be careful, and take emotions out of the equation when deciding to be intimate with your man because once you do have sex, women naturally become more attached and a little less rational. Save yourself from looking pathetic, if I had a quarter for every time a guy told me a story about a girl who was "psycho" I would be a rich women. But since I don't, I will take it upon myself to spread my expertise and hopefully save one women at a time. A symptom of this love induced psychosis that Ke$ha mentions is when you notice you gives you a "high" and you feel happy when you are with him and unhappy when he's not around. Don't become emotionally dependant on anyone ever, that breeds unhealthy relationships. So sometimes, unhealthy relationships come out of fast hook-ups, refer to slow and steady wins the race.

"What's a gorgeous girl like you doing with a schmuck like me?"

                              Why Some Pretty Girls Date Seemingly Unattractive Guys

       We've all seen it from the MTV show, "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" to that sorority president on campus holding hands with some scruffy GDI (unaffiliated with Greek life). So I wanted to investigate why this happens all the time, during my quest I talked to some of my friends who are totally out of their boyfriends' league to get to the bottom of the issue. There were a few common reasons that are both interesting and surprising.
       The girls I'm referring to are independant, self-assured, and could get any guy they want but still would choose the not so polished guy who would be a more caring and devoted boyfriend any day over the cocky jock whose looks are pretty much the only thing he has to offer. SInce these guys haven't been able to rely on their looks to get guys, they needed to develop values and positive behavior in order to attract girls and stand out in the sea of gelled hair. So when you look at them on the surface they may be less than impressive but when you stop judging books by their covers you might be surprised to find a respectful, more consciencious guy lying underneath who is very impressive.
       Also, having a not-so cute boyfriend leaves you less to worry about. Not only have they demonstrated their honesty and loyalty to catch the babe in the first place, but they will be more faithful simply due to lack of options. Guys like this are comforting because their partners can safely conduct their lives as normal and thereby make their partners more attracted to them and eventually more devoted to them by maintaining the health of their relationships. Evolutionarily, women are more concerned with relationships compared to men, who are more concerned with power and competition. Since these women have less to worry about, they also have less to compete over and it would cause less strain on their relationships with other women.
        Conversely, since the guy knows he has a grade catch, he will try harder to treat his girlfriend well in order to keep her, because he knows she has no lack of options. This is good for guys because like I previously stated, they are very competitive in nature and power driven. Power gives guys a sense of accomplishment and self-satisfaction and having that trophy wife may be just as valuable as being a CEO or winning the Stanley Cup. So ladies, you have to make your man work for it, AND BETTER YET act like that grade A catch and it will only be a matter of time before you morph into her. From my favorite book, Why Men Like Bitched, "sex appeal is half what you got and half what others think you got." Good guys are harder to snag than you think because they are usually in relationships, they know they have what women want, so they tend to picky looks wise. Make sure you're not picking the low hanging "attractive tool" wormed apples but instead climb past the surface to the highest branch and pick that "good guy" apple, you might be pleasantly surprised.

P.S. yes, I am quite the fan of the under dog

Birthdays

This blog is dedicated to Mike Gustafson on his 21^st birthday! Why is it that girls make birthdays such a bigger deal than guys do? Except for the standard 21 and 18 birthdays, guys really don’t care about birthdays. They don’t count down like girls do, they don’t throw annual lavish parties like girls do, and they don’t get each other gifts like girls do. So guys if you only did one small thing for your girl, giving her the VIP treatment on her birthday should be it. Not only will you make her feel like a princess and earn a lot of brownie points with her but you’ll also impress her friends and family so spotlight’s on her for her special day.

So I speculated reasons as to why it may be more important for girls than guys. To understand, you must first know what a birthday is, it means you’re getting one year older so some may see them as getting one year closer to death. Since guys are concerned with achievement more so than girls, they see birthdays this way, like a warning: you have one year less to do everything you aim to do. But girls, who give birth see birthdays as a celebration of life. They are more dear to us because most of us in the future will provide someone with a birthday, something only unique to women, as opposed to the other aspects of parenting that both parents share. We like to celebrate life because most women outlive men so we must embrace that and throw celebrations for ourselves because as we get older there will less men and immediate family in our lives to celebrate with. After all, every girl wants to be the leading lady of their own lives and there’s no better time to play the part than on her birthday.

In addition, girls pay more attention to interpersonal interactions and relationships so that’s why they like to share and celebrate their birthdays with people while boys more value achievement and strength and look down upon showing emotions, so sharing birthdays isn’t as important.

Attention FHA (Future Husbands of America lol Stacey): In order to give her the VIP treatment every princess deserves on her birthday you should do any/all of the following: including but not limited to a heart-felt card (buying a card doesn’t count make sure you write a personal message-no short cuts on her birthday), chocolates or some baked goods, something for pleasure she would enjoy whether it be fluffy and cute, some music she like (mixed CDs are great), a book for the intellectual girls out there, and/or some type of jewelry (I would suggest bracelets, it’s really hard to pick a hideous one).

Don’t worry girls, you don’t have to do much to please your man on his birthday, just making a cake or surprising him with a sexy outfit will do. Now celebrate away!