The Dating Clock: Do You Know What Time It Is?

I would first like to dedicate this post to the extremely intelligent and talented future psychologist of America, Irina Tchinia, Not only is she an inspiration to me, I’m so proud to call her my childhood best friend and I hope someday future partner in practice. Thank you Serena for inspiring this blog and I hope many more to come!

Now let me preface this by saying that the Dating Clock is a simple concept meant to help people classify (or I hate this word but still people insist using it, “label”) their dating relationships so as to: clear up confusion, align proper expectations and protect themselves from a broken heart…and if nothing else give you a good laugh or two imagining people in your life and your friends’ lives that fit into each category.

The time range is completely relative, considering people have different kinds of life styles and work different hours. Some people are naturally morning people, others night owls. But generally speaking, these guidelines should help spell out the common dating classifications and help you realize that timing really is everything and that the time you are dating your partner may imply more than you think.

Now for the bad news, getting “In Sync” is really important at the start of a dating relationship no matter which category below you’re in. It’s often hard to strike a timing harmony with the person you’re dating (like a DJ trying to make a mash up of a jazz record and a hard metal track) which may cause the romance to fizzle whether or not you have a strong attraction or compatibility. You can try to combat this making concessions here and there slowly adjusting your schedule if you think the connection is worthwhile. Beware of coxcombs: Make sure you notice their behavior and stop treating them like a priority the moment you notice they treat you like an option.

12:00pm (Noon)  The Lunch Date:

You two are in the pre-hookup phase of your relationship. There’s no commitment. There might be an innocent flirtation, but you’re still trying to feel each other out. It may be a friend or co-worker “friend zoned” until you figure out whether or not, if ever, you want to take them out of the friend zone and into another category.

3:00-5:00pm The Afternoon Delight:

You sneak out of work early occasionally to see them or just text them for a mid day booty call. Typically they opt for quickies, The Afternoon Delight, doesn’t entertain you in deep conversation preferring instead to dash out to their next appointment/engagement (sometimes a formal date unbeknownst to you).

7:00-9:00pm  The Formal Date:

You tend to meet at dinners by candlelight or an elaborately planned excursion. This guy doesn’t hesitate to pull out all the stops and the Benjamins to impress you but deep down he is just looking for someone who doesn’t want his money, but rather the time they can spend together. Maybe you’ve shared a kiss or two but you’re hesitant to take it to the next level because you need more time to decide and often find a reason to skip out ASAP (even faking an emergency call from your BFF if necessary).

Midnight- The Friends With Benefits (FWB):

You’re comfortable enough with each other that you can see each other when you get that feeling and need sexual healing. But can also stay up and recount stories about your weekend and your perspective sexcapades. It’s typical for FWB’s to skip the cuddling and sleep in their perspective beds…or they might sleep over, share a cup of coffee with you and go on their merry way first thing in the morning!

3:00-5:00am The Booty Call:

Maybe you’ve slept with them before, maybe it was last month, maybe it was last year. It could be a one night stand or perhaps a buddy you run into whose circles overlap with yours. You know the possibility of rejection is a harsh reality often causing you to send multiple texts to different people in order to raise your chances. Never a certainty, the booty call often suffers from the closing time effect where they start to worry about who they’ll go home with at the end of the night rather than planning it in the beginning of the night. Just make sure you don’t go to bed with a ten and wake up with a 6!

8:00-11:00am  The Keeper:

He’s the one you wake up with and know you’ll spend the rest of the day together. The one that doesn’t get on your nerves after spending the whole weekend together. At this point you’re probably close to discussing being mutually exclusive or becoming official whether or not you put a label on it or are public with it. Some hopeless romantics may even entertaining thoughts of introducing them to your family or being Facebook official. But don’t fall too fast, a candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. Click on the video below and read the lyrics to get a more in depth explanation: Rather Be By: Clean Bandit Feat. Jess Glynne. 

Caption: It’s easy being with you, sacred simplicity. As long as we’re together, there’s no place I’de rather be.