Top 100 Reasons Why He Won't Text You Back

         In our modern technological age, an unreturned text can signal a social disaster. But sometimes you need to step back and calm down because there could be any reason why he isn't texting you back. If you take anything away from this it's that there's more reason why he can't text you that have nothing to do with you. So if you're waiting on something really important, read this list over and I'm sure he will text you by the time you finish the list- and if not here's to a great laugh. Maybe in life, it's good to have the last word, but not in texting. My favorite ones are bolded. 

1. He broke all of his fingers in an arm wrestle
2. He has a girlfriend
3. His jealous ex-girlfriend deleted the text before he saw it
4. He is under the Imperius Curse and has been instructed by Voldemort to ignore you
5. His Mom cancelled the account because he never calls her
6. He left his phone in a public bathroom
7. He’s waiting another hour so he doesn’t look desperate
8. His phone fell out of his pocket in his car and he can’t reach the spot under the seat
9. He heard a rumor about you and is trying to figure out if it’s true before he texts you back
10. He’s bummed you stole his thunder and texted him first
11. He dropped his phone in the toilet
12. He knows you have friends who write for Her Campus and doesn’t want to be on the next Asshole-O-Meter
13. He has an STD…he’s doing you a favor.
14. He decided texting is ruining his social skills so only wants to talk to you in person
15. He’s in class and actually puts his phone on silent
16. He is on a plane to Australia
17. He still can’t figure out how to use T9
18. He’s at the gym
19. His childhood pet just died and he’s too sad to flirt
20. He thought the outfit you wore to the mixer was supposed to be serious
21. He doesn’t like you. (Sorry)
22. He’s stoned
23. He’s stoned and involved in a serious round of Mario Kart
24. He thinks that he texted you back, but he’s currently sexting one of the other 23 Sarah’s in his phone by mistake
25. He lost a bet and isn’t allowed to talk to hot girls for 30 days
26. He doesn’t get service on campus
27. He can’t read
28. He doesn’t speak English
29. He’s still drunk
30. He left his phone in the pocket of his pants, which are now in the laundry
31. He got diagnosed with a particularly painful case of carpel tunnel syndrome
32. He’s a concert pianist who needs to rest his fingers before a big concert
33. He stalked you on Facebook and thought your joke relationship status was real
34. You’re his TA
35. He realized he once hooked up with your sister
36. He’s waiting until 2am so he doesn’t have to talk to you sober
37. He forgot that girls like to text even if we have nothing to say
38. He’s an Orthodox Jew who observes Shabbat—and you texted him on Friday night
39. He’s madly in love with you and doesn’t think he’ll be able to engage in small talk without passionately declaring his feelings.  And that would be weird.
40. You used an obscure emoticon or said “lol”, “u 2,” or “g2g” in your text to him, so he knew it wouldn’t work out
41. He works for the CIA
42. He’s pledging a frat...enough said
43. He doesn’t want you to find out that he’s really 35 and married
44. Because you also emailed, skyped, g-chatted, tweeted, Facebooked, called, and faxed him
45. He’s in love with your best friend
46. He gave up technology for Lent
47. He just got a manicure and doesn’t want to mess it up* (*SEE NUMBER 22)
48. He’s busy
49. He caught you Facebook stalking him in the library
50. He’s texting his sister at the same time and doesn’t want to send the wrong text to the wrong girl (disaster!)
51. He has decided to become Amish since you last spoke
52. He’s broke and assumes texting you will lead to spending money on you
53. He’s taking a vow of silence
54. He heard you’re texting half of his fraternity as well
55. He sobered up
56. He’s at work
57. He’s running a marathon
58. He’s at a movie marathon
59. His phone died and he can’t find the charger
60. He’s considering joining the priesthood
61. He heard you’re actually a classy, nice girl, and he’s not into that
62. He doesn’t want to lead you on
63. He’s with his bros and doesn’t want to be caught “cute” texting
64. He’s involved in an intense game of World of Warcraft (this is not your loss)
65. He’s on the phone with his Mom
66. He doesn’t have a texting plan?
67. His phone is buried under the mountain of laundry he’s waiting to take home over break
68. He’s too busy analyzing the new Kanye West album
69. He thinks you’re out of his league
70. He prefers high school girls
71. Your text didn’t warrant a response
72. He’s in shock
73. He’s having a “guy’s night”
74. He forgot
75. Because it’s only been, like, twenty minutes. Calm the eff down, girl
76. His phone died
77.  There was a family emergency
78.  He was just eating something sticky and hasn’t gotten around to washing his hands
79. He’s in jail
80. His phone was stolen
81. He realized his friend likes you, so bro code says he shouldn’t text you back
82. He’s driving
83. He has mono
84. You texted the wrong guy
85. He’s worried his phone is being wiretapped and he doesn’t want to incriminate himself
86. He saved your number as something funny (“Candy the Stripper”) and forgot who it was
87. He forgot to get your number so he doesn’t know who texted him
88. He read the text in his sleep and then thought it was a dream
89. He didn’t get the joke you just made and feels stupid
90. He forgot to pay his phone bill and his account has been cancelled
91. He was really angry and threw his phone against the wall
92.  He has the iPhone “drunk dialer app” and he can’t figure out how to unlock his phone
93. He’s not a big texter, he prefers talking on the phone
94. He’s trying to think of something funny to say
95. He is taking a (really long) nap
96. He’s worried you only texted him as a joke or to win a bet (circa every teen movie from the ‘90s)
97. He’s gay
98. He talked to one of your ex-boyfriends who told him you’re a psycho
99. He’s watching a sports game
100. He thought the pimple on your lip was herpes

Taken from the orignial article on http://hercampus.com/love/100-reasons-why-he-hasnt-responded-your-text. And make sure to check out Her Campus Maryland, I am the Marketing Director and a common guest blogger at www.hercampus.com/umd. 

Can You Really Break Up Cold Turkey?

       Does anyone ever have a clean break up anymore? I have noticed most of my friends don't. And out of the few that do, many of them were in on again off again relationships.  It's hard to cut the emotional intimacy and connection with someone you are dating. People in on again off again relationships go through more pain during the relationship and after getting over it than people with clean breaks. That's why many new singles often fall into the friends with benefits trap with their exes. That can make things feel a little easier, in the short term but it will make the relationship more fuzzy.
           Sex brings emotions and feelings into the mix making boundaries less and less flexible. Usually this limit is tested in the case of infidelity from one of the partners. After that, there's two options, be bothered and break it off for good, or get back together (being exclusive). Sometimes women use this as an ultimatum.  Hooking up with your ex with 3 weeks after the break up is a bad idea. You need at least this amount of time to disconnect from feelings especially of desperation. Going back to your ex signifies weakness and indecisiveness- both of which cause your partner to lose respect for you. Because if you go back, then why did you break up in the first place? This is a good time to note for you women out there that breaking up with a guy is not a good way to threaten or influence your partner's behavior. Break that are used as ultimatums are toxic, unless it's over a long distance issue.
          But if this cycle is so bad for relationships why do people do it? It's just plain hard to disconnect easily from an ex especially when you shared a lot of positive memories with one another. Just just like ripping a band aid, relationships are less painful when ended swift and fast, not slowly which can drag out the pain even longer. For ideas of how to get over your ex easily check out my previous blog: http://msdateguru.blogspot.com/2009/08/getting-over-your-ex.html.

I Don't Want to Be A Playa No More

Spotting a player is easier than spotting a tiger in the vast savannah. Decoding player's text lingo let's you weed out the mixed signals. It's important to pay attention to your man's text habits, that is an obvious clue to his possible player tendencies. 

1. Players text too much.
Players may often have the tendency to text you sweet little nothings at sporatic times in the day. Examples might include,  "Hey, just thought I'd say I'm thinking about you" or "Sleep tight ; )" Don't fool yourself into thinking these sentiments are genuine. It is only okay to keep in contact when you have already established intimacy, which would be the equivalent of 5 dates at the least. Otherwise, his feelings aren't behind what he's saying, and if they are, that's lame.  



2. Players text at the last minute.
This one is pretty obvious already. Don't think a text after midnight would be anything but a booty call. Even when they text you last minute invitations, it's not innocent. Players may say things like, "This week is starting to look brutal. I'm free tonight but will probably have to work late through the weekend. Wanna grab a drink later?" Don't agree on a last minutes date unless you have already established your relationship. Although it looks charming and enthusiastic, you still shouldn't agree unless you have reached the 5 date rule. You can let him off easy by saying, "Look, considering I don't know you very well, I'd prefer to make plans in advance. Last-minute invites are not my thing." And if you do agree to go out with him, absolutely don't sleep with him!


3. Players text a ton one day — and then days and days go by with nothing.
This is a signal they aren't concerned with you, they live their own lives and are selfish about their priorities. They think it will impress women and keep them hanging on but you must reject this so his behavior eventually changes. 



4. Players will pressure you for sex early.
Players have short attention spans and won't wait too long for sex. They coin songs like, "On To The Next One." When something makes you feel uncomfortable it is pressure and you shouldn't go against your will. You don't have to have sex to establish intimacy. 



5. Players will not respond well if you voice hesitations about sleeping together.
When you feel pressured and you try to intercept his efforts, good guys will back off BUT players will pressure you to do it even more. They will use every line in the book and sometimes they will even work. So when you feel like a guy isn't accepting of your decision something must be off and head for the door, despite what your "heart" may tell you. 

This is one of the most characteristic aspects of players, or at least douche bags. You should stay away from these men, they may turn into aggressive or abusive. Even though it may seem great it will go bad sighting many of my own and friends' experiences.

Based on an excerpt of Maura Kelly's relationship blog,  A Year of Living Flirtatiously, for MarieClaire.com. 

Go Get a Study Buddy!

           It's dreaded exam time and I’m sure you’re wired and tired of hitting the books and skipping Zzz’s. When it’s crunch time in classes, we’re often too self-consumed to notice other people. But I would argue that having a special someone around when those stressful times hit may just be the answer for your winter woes. When it starts getting cold outside, it’s nice to have someone by your side to warm you up. And when the stress starts piling on from Thanksgiving, finals, and then the holidays we are left in a flurry that only the warmth and sensitivity of relationship can cure. Having a partner who encourages you and motivates you to be the best you can be is my recipe for a healthy relationship. Having the right person around at your lows can make them more bearable. Also, you can benefit from the added push of someone you care about believing in you and parleying your own expectations of yourself. Studies in misattribution theory state that when people are in a heightened state, for ex Studying they often misattribute the cause of their arousal (beating heart, faster breaths) to the nearest source they can.

         So now is the time to approach that cutie in class you were afraid to talk to all semester, because now you have an excuse! It’s simple to do nonchalantly, just organize a study group and invite them to join.  Better yet, open the door to conversation by exchanging numbers in reference to an upcoming exam or paper. Working on something collaboratively with another person brings you closer to them. If it wasn’t meant to be, well at least you got some homework help. So take off those headphones and take a stroll around the library. I bet there are a lot of eligible singles sitting next to you right about now who want someone to study with too.

Buy Study Buddy shirts at Study Buddy T-shirts from Zazzle.com

Sophie's Secrets: Smush Music III

Sophie's Secrets: Smush Music III: "I think this week may be my favorite week of Smush Music. Most of these songs remind me of pre-college years. Use this playlist while you

• F*cking You Tonight - Notorious B.I.G. ft. R.Kelly
• Leather So Soft - Birdman & Lil Wayne
• P*ssy Money Weed - Lil Wayne
• My Baby - Janet Jackson ft. Kanye West
• Feel It In The Air - Beanie Sigel
• Crazy - K-Ci & JoJo
• No Better Love - Young Gunz
• Makin' It Last All Night - Mariah Carey
• Let's Get It On - Gavin DeGraw
• Sideways - Citizen Cope
• Smile - G-Unit
• Your Body - Pretty Ricky

Be SAFE! And enjoy :)

Three's Company

The Guide To Utilizing A Third Wheel:

           The commonly accepted definition of "third wheel" is, "One who deters the socialization of a couple, perhaps when being invited out of pitty or through a feeling of duty. This person may be eased into the situation by being allowed to stay in an envirnment he or she has become accustomed to (perhaps a kitchen, where the third wheel can bake cookies for the couple.) The third wheel may feel uncomfortable about watching the couple canoodle on his her her sofa, but none of this is taken into consideration. Ex: Emma is such a third wheel/ cock blocker." (source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=third%20wheel)

        Try to rethink you idea of the third wheel, they shouldn't be seen as cock blocks in social situations having a third wheel is actually beneficial. When you have a third wheel, the couple may seem less intimidating to outsiders and therefore more approachable. Going out with a couple is fun, it gives you the freedom you want but the structure you need. Couples are reliable, you know they won't ditch each other and they're have an exit plan and make more responsible decisions than hanging with other singles. So re think your dating strategy, and try going out with couples, it allows for the best combination of networking ease and social freedom. 

Female Third Wheels:

        They may not even be considered a third wheel by the couple. But the female may often feel left out and feel like a third wheel. But compared to male third wheels, female third wheels proves more useful in social situations opening the door to many more social experiences. They are way more useful in social situations that can open the door to interactions with other circles and to play match makers with your mutual friends. It's a win- win-win situation for the couple, the "third wheel" and your mutual friend!

Male Third Wheels:

         When you have a single male as a third wheel, it's still not bad. The couple may act as an incredible "wing man", it's easier to have a couple as a wingman because it's easier and more relaxed to approach a group of women that way. Two guys commonly appear predatorial to single women and as soon as they are being approached, they feel like field mice with a swooping hawk above. Couples balance the male to female ration and neutralize tense social situations. If your target, the women you are trying to whoo, is around a couple which activates the relationship schema, in psychology we call this a "prime," making her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. When couples are around single women it ignites many emotions from jealousy to annoyance or appreciation which makes her think about relationships. The popular notion that weddings are the easiest place to "get laid". The same rationale behind that hold true here, being around couple often makes women more likely to be open, hookup, or maybe even agree to a date.