Is Your Relationship A Democracy?

Many people praise equality in relationships, democratic relationships, where both partners equally help in decision making and conflict resolution. But although it works well in American government, is this the correct approach in relationships? Due to men and women's inherent differences and even personality differences in heterosexual and homosexual relationships, this may not be the best relationship logistics. I support the traditional form of relationships where each partner does what he/she knows best. Men are traditionally more decisive than women and should be the rational anchor for women's constant emotional highs and lows. Whenever either party is competing for power in the relationship, it struggles and trying to balance the power between two parties is difficult. In our government this works through a series of check and balances between the judicial, legislative, and executive branches but in relationships there are only two. Could this be why homosexual relationship report more relational satisfaction than heterosexual couples? Although much policy and social movements have centered around equality in our culture, I don't think we should apply this principle to everyday life. Instead of equality, we should think of relationships in terms of equal power. When the power balance is off in either direction, it is detrimental for relationships. When the woman is in control, the man is often seen as a pushover, and is commonly ridiculed by his friends. When the man is in power, he can be seen as the overbearing boyfriend and may prevent his acceptance from the woman's friendship circle. but more importantly than social perception, when the power is off balance one party will be less satisfied with the relationship than the other. Relationships are all about making sacrifices. I think a huge reason why relationship advising has become an industry now is because it is unlike any other. Relationships are inherently different than business relationships and I have seen many people while very successful in life, may struggle when it comes to romantic relationships. This approach to relationships is most like the socialist form of government. When there is a power imbalance or when it is used to solve conflicts, relationships may go sour. So you have to think about how much you want the relationship to work and what you can offer, instead of thinking poorly of your partner when things go wrong. Although democracy may be the best way to run this country, it is not best with matters of the heart.