Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I Don't Want to Be A Playa No More



Spotting a player is easier than spotting a tiger in the vast savannah. Decoding player's text lingo let's you weed out the mixed signals. It's important to pay attention to your man's text habits, that is an obvious clue to his possible player tendencies. 
1. Players text too much.
Players may often have the tendency to text you sweet little nothings at sporatic times in the day. Examples might include,  "Hey, just thought I'd say I'm thinking about you" or "Sleep tight ; )" Don't fool yourself into thinking these sentiments are genuine. It is only okay to keep in contact when you have already established intimacy, which would be the equivalent of 5 dates at the least. Otherwise, his feelings aren't behind what he's saying, and if they are, that's lame.  


2. Players text at the last minute.
This one is pretty obvious already. Don't think a text after midnight would be anything but a booty call. Even when they text you last minute invitations, it's not innocent. Players may say things like, "This week is starting to look brutal. I'm free tonight but will probably have to work late through the weekend. Wanna grab a drink later?" Don't agree on a last minutes date unless you have already established your relationship. Although it looks charming and enthusiastic, you still shouldn't agree unless you have reached the 5 date rule. You can let him off easy by saying, "Look, considering I don't know you very well, I'd prefer to make plans in advance. Last-minute invites are not my thing." And if you do agree to go out with him, absolutely don't sleep with him!
3. Players text a ton one day and then days and days go by with nothing.
This is a signal they aren't concerned with you, they live their own lives and are selfish about their priorities. They think it will impress women and keep them hanging on but you must reject this so his behavior eventually changes. 


4. Players will pressure you for sex early.
Players have short attention spans and won't wait too long for sex. They coin songs like, "On To The Next One." When something makes you feel uncomfortable it is pressure and you shouldn't go against your will. You don't have to have sex to establish intimacy. 


5. Players will not respond well if you voice hesitations about sleeping together.
When you feel pressured and you try to intercept his efforts, good guys will back off BUT players will pressure you to do it even more. They will use every line in the book and sometimes they will even work. So when you feel like a guy isn't accepting of your decision something must be off and head for the door, despite what your "heart" may tell you. 

This is one of the most characteristic aspects of players, or at least douche bags. You should stay away from these men, they may turn into aggressive or abusive. Even though it may seem great it will go bad sighting many of my own and friends' experiences.


Based on an excerpt of Maura Kelly's relationship blog,  A Year of Living Flirtatiously, for MarieClaire.com. 

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