The Garbage Advice Guys Get

While reading my boyfriend's March issue of Maxim, I came across an interesting article called "Have Your Cake and Eat It Too: A Foolproof Guide to Cheating and Getting Away With It Some Tips From the Pros- Women". It offers some famed tips from women because apparently men (like Tiger Woods and Jesse James are less successful examples. So it's no surprise that in the U.S.  over 50% of spouses (male and female) do cheat- it is a grave reality in our time. It seems also, that women have more tricks up their sleeves for hiding trysts than men do, they go about it more stealthfully for the most part and forms methods of rationalizing their infidelities. But the fact that men acknowledge the need to hide it means they think cheating is wrong- so why do we still do it? After asking many of male friends clarified why men sometimes stray on their seemingly perfect girlfriends. I wanted to be enlightened why someone would repeatedly cheat if their girlfriend is someone like Halle Barry. Apparently, men may want the company of another women when they feel too trapped by their girlfriends. Many have high expectation making men feel like their walking on eggshells around them. When men are repeatidly immasculated by their girlfriends think nagging or starting fights in front of their friends, they need to assert their masculinity and their independence and cheating is often an easy way out. Since it's harder for men to verbalize these feelings they often try to set it straight on their own over having labored discussions with their significant other. Also, as many know, having a girlfriend is a another higher level of intimacy and a difference in sexual demeanor. You can't do certain sexual acts with your girlfriend because they would be demeaning, but there's no such guilt when they are with a hook-up. Girlfriends, may try to show more sensitivity to their man and under no circumstances withhold sex as a means of punishment. This would be defined as cruel and unusual by most men. Sex is more than a physical act so people should treat it as such. It should not be assigned dirty or wrong connotations, but rather the physical manifestation of a couples intimacy. This is why relationships are so accepted and exist in the first place. Trust is the number one thing in a relationship, so if you feel tempted don't stray and eventually you will come to face the problem (calmly) as you should. Cheating greatly changes the power dynamic in relationships and breeds guilt which is the number one form of psychological abuse. That's why relationships can't recover (fully at least) after cheating. In mine and many friends' experiences it may bring you closer in the short term but ultimately tear you apart in the long-term. Cheating is not a good coping mechanism and therefore these tips are Garbage. It's only when people realize the importance and effects of cheating that they will start to have better, more meaningful relationships. I hope that this will be a little spark of change that eventually inspires a change in relationship dynamic and eventually will improve the divorce rate.