The Nesting Weight Phenomena

Some of my friends have expressed their concerns about nesting weight, a phenomena that happens once you’re comfortable and settled in a relationship. I noticed this is very common for women and men but why does it happen? The importance of looks are undeniably related to attraction and interest at the start of a relationship so why is it that we would let our looks wither possibly forfeiting that initial attraction? I gained some insight on the issue studying for my interpersonal relationships midterm. Note that the main reason for husband marital dissatisfaction and a big cause of divorce is because the wife “let herself go”. Looks are more important to men in relationships from an evolutionary standpoint while power and resources are most important to women so it makes sense that it would bother men more than women. It also makes sense that since it’s not as big of a concern for women that they would fall prey to this happening.

Well this seems to be common, in fact most people put on weight after they get married, and it happens to both partners. In close relationships, we tend to go to less trouble to maintain favorable images of ourselves to our intimate partner than others. This is because we already know our friends and lovers like us and there is less we can do to change their deep rooted opinions of us. This relates to looks because we give our partners the benefit of the doubt that they wouldn’t care about superficial things such as looks. This can be a good thing because it shows we are very comfortable with our partner but it can be bad because it causes “un-attraction”.

We are motivated to pay attention to our looks when we’re single and trying to attract a mate but it seems after we have one, there is no longer a purpose of maintaining our appearance unless it’s for our own well being. But more importantly it’s necessary in order to preserve the relationship. Noting your partner’s lifestyle can help you predict the likelihood of this happening- if it’s important to you.

Also if it’s important to you, your partner should care enough to make you happy by maintaining their appearance. But your lifestyle can also rub off on your partner and visa versa, so with this issue it’s best to practice what you preach and lead by example. If you make healthy dinners and encourage exercise obviously your partner will follow suit. We usually pair off with people that are similar attractiveness as us so if your partner is bulking up/slimming down you tend to naturally mimic them. But, correcting the nesting weight together can bring you even closer, not to mention the sexual benefits that come from it. Because after all, the couples that gains/losses weight stays together.