Wise Advice to Young Men From Socialite Dwayne Mckie

I recently met DC socialite Dwayne McKie for dinner at his favorite restaurant, Ambrosia Grill. Unlike his online persona of being a playboy, who travels internationally and has friends wordlwide, I was surprised to he was very friendly and talkative. He was looking back on a lot of lessons he learned early on in the social scene of Washington D.C. He says that younger guys go crazy when they see an attractive women so that all their common sense goes out the window. He says white men go crazy over breasts while, Hispanic and Black men go crazy over "ass". He finds that even with his good reputation, buying women a drink will not impress them. In fact, he told me recently when he had a bar tab and bought some ladies he met some drinks, they left the club as soon as they were done drinking! So unlike his sweet disposition, he is always ready to fold. This is his biggest trick to relationships, the best way to get a girlfriend is by sitting back and waiting to see what happens. He says that getting a girlfriend is mostly luck which is affected by random encounters and even karma. He says that once a girl knows you’re looking for a relationship, she will be less enthusiastic about one. At the end of the day he says women have the power to say no but he tries to keep women on their toes working for HIS attention. This is his Love Potion, leaving the option to move on. You need to continually check in on your relationship. The best partners are ones who insure themselves, and their mates are satisfied. It's unhealthy to assume that you will always be together, I think. Real life is not fairy tale romance like you see in movies. Hope you enjoyed these wise words from a wise man.

Advice on Love and Sex From Dr. Charles and Amy Miron

Last week I was intrigued to find out there were two sex experts coming to the University of Maryland- Dr. Charles and Amy Miron . When I met them I instantly thought, they were a cooler version of Meet the Fockers. They are members of American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and teach sex education classes together at a community college in Baltimore. They shed some powerful insight on the dynamics of relationships and sex. They have been working together for decades which is why I asked them for their tips for couples having a romantic and business relationship. They said it is possibly to mix business with pleasure, they enjoy being together during the work day due to their good conflict resolution skills, having a strong sense of self and partner, and sticking up for themselves but at the same time still compromising. Similar to working together, living together will also give you shared experiences that might help you gather insight on whether or not your partner is right for you. They said the only way to know whether or not to settle down (or get married) to someone is to go through time and trauma with them. An anonymous question was asked about whether it was appropriate to move in with a boyfriend and they assured us that moving in is a test drive phase but to follow the two year rule. After two years, you will know if your relationship has enough to grow and share a life together. They didn’t refer to each other as husband and wife but Amy dearly described Charles as her “best friend and life partner”. They praise monogamous sex, and claim no sex is safe sex but use of condoms are safest. In terms of relationships, they support consensual monogamous sex, they have been happily married for 43 years. The thing that I found most intriguing was their sexual "limor" diminishing any preconceptions about love fading with age. They stressed that everyone has unique sexual drives and ticks. They have a unique language for the different tastes in sex. They believe have 3 basic "flavors" which are: love sex, fun sex, and sex sex. Love Sex is the deep sensual sex you see in movies that is tender. It is characterized by both partners are actively in touch Fun sex is for fun, instead of watching t.v. or playing a game together. And sex sex is sex that happens when you need to just scratch an itch, having sex to get it out of your system. And they give back too! They have been organizing a sex retreat for 9th graders to apply creative group building and teaching techniques that reach further beyond sex education in the classroom. They taught me, as an aspiring marriage counselor that marriage can last and be successful even after time. And shared their secret to having a successful relationship- asking what YOU can do to improve their relationship instead of pointing fingers or blame on your partner to put in more effort.

Have a Fun Valentine's Day- Single or Taken

Making Valentine’s Day fun, means moving away from the commercialized concept of the holiday.
Bag the chocolates, the cheap cards, and expensive dates. While those things may be fun in moderation, Valentine's Day is a wonderful holiday that celebrates Love. I like to celebrate great friends, my family, and of course important relationships to me.

Who says Valentine's Day isn't for single people? Some of my favorite Valentine's Days are dressing up and going out with my girlfriends enjoying fun, laughs, and amazing company. If you're single, try going out with friends, dinner reservations may be hard to get but if you try some unconventional ideas this may be your best Valentine's Day yet. Get together and have a pot luck at a friend's house. Bring my Valentine's Day Mac & Cheese (recipe below), or cook it for your best friend but don't forget flowers on the table. (And by flowers I mean the ones you pick on your walk home).

If you're attached get a gift for the both of you like a bath bomb from Lush. Their sex bomb is my favorite. Or get your self a new lipstick, nail polish or bra that he will like too. Do something free and active. The misattribution arousal theory shows that increased heart rate mimics the effects of arousal and stimulation like the ones you get from romantic love. So do something outdoors like play tennis or window shopping exploring the sites in your own town. Just break free from the usual routine and do something new.

Valentine's Day Mac & Cheese
2 bay leaves
1 tsp. mace
1/2 a package of Medium Shells pasta (or elbow macaroni)
1/2 a cup of whole milk
1/2 a pint of heavy cream
2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste

For Breading:
1/4 cup of panko bread crumbs
1/4 cup of Parmesan Cheese
Makes 4 servings
Prep (Pasta Boil): 15 min
Cook time: 7 minutes under a High Broiler

Start by boiling the pasta. Then heat up the cream and milk with 2 bay leaves and mace. Cook to a boil, lower the heat for 5 minutes. Take out the bay leaves, and stir in the cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste. Once the pasta is ready drain it and add the sauce. Put the mac and cheese mixture in a baking dish and combine the breading ingredients. Sprinkle the breading all over the macaroni and put under the broiler for 7 minutes. Let rest for 5 minutes and Enjoy!

Is Your Relationship A Democracy?

Many people praise equality in relationships, democratic relationships, where both partners equally help in decision making and conflict resolution. But although it works well in American government, is this the correct approach in relationships? Due to men and women's inherent differences and even personality differences in heterosexual and homosexual relationships, this may not be the best relationship logistics. I support the traditional form of relationships where each partner does what he/she knows best. Men are traditionally more decisive than women and should be the rational anchor for women's constant emotional highs and lows. Whenever either party is competing for power in the relationship, it struggles and trying to balance the power between two parties is difficult. In our government this works through a series of check and balances between the judicial, legislative, and executive branches but in relationships there are only two. Could this be why homosexual relationship report more relational satisfaction than heterosexual couples? Although much policy and social movements have centered around equality in our culture, I don't think we should apply this principle to everyday life. Instead of equality, we should think of relationships in terms of equal power. When the power balance is off in either direction, it is detrimental for relationships. When the woman is in control, the man is often seen as a pushover, and is commonly ridiculed by his friends. When the man is in power, he can be seen as the overbearing boyfriend and may prevent his acceptance from the woman's friendship circle. but more importantly than social perception, when the power is off balance one party will be less satisfied with the relationship than the other. Relationships are all about making sacrifices. I think a huge reason why relationship advising has become an industry now is because it is unlike any other. Relationships are inherently different than business relationships and I have seen many people while very successful in life, may struggle when it comes to romantic relationships. This approach to relationships is most like the socialist form of government. When there is a power imbalance or when it is used to solve conflicts, relationships may go sour. So you have to think about how much you want the relationship to work and what you can offer, instead of thinking poorly of your partner when things go wrong. Although democracy may be the best way to run this country, it is not best with matters of the heart.