While on the bus from NYC earlier this week I spoke to a man, let’s just call him the “One Night Wonder”, who has a lot of experience with hook-ups (hence the name). I found him to be a rare breed of man who’s longest relationship was 2 months- you know what I’m thinking- commit-a-phobe! I mentioned my blog to him and he asked me to let all my loyal readers know about one thing not to say after a hook-up:
“did we have sex last night?”
Now, I know a lot of you honestly don’t know this but the worst thing to do is to let the guy know that you were blackout during sex. The first step is to look around for a used condom- that’s a sure sign that you had an intimate night. Note: Guys pretty much always remember sex (because usually the machinery malfunctions if they are blackout), so letting him know that you don’t remember can be pretty hurtful. As soon as they hear that they wonder if they took advantage of you, if you’re not interested in him, and, above all, what a mess of a girl you are.
So don’t let them in on that you don’t remember and save what little dignity you have left (harsh, but true). If you’re concerned about protection and safety, well, girlfriend, you shouldn’t have gotten drunk to the point of losing memory! Women regret hook-ups more than men, so just keep that in mind when you make your hook-up decisions (there are such things as beer goggles you know). Also, some men may see flirting and friendliness as an open invitation of hooking up- especially if it’s over a night of heavy drinking- so make sure you’re not sending mixed messages. And be careful not to stick around one guy’s side all night, guys take that as a strong invitation as well.
If you find yourself in this sticky predicament there are two paths out of it. If you know the guy, and are interested in him, you should initiate another hook-up in the morning (a wake-up call). This can be a test to see how far you took it the night before and to redeem yourself by asserting yourself as an independent, confident, sexual woman. This will take away any doubt in his head that it was uncalled for. Yes, guys really do care about this and would feel hurt to learn that they took advantage of someone. Most guys think a girl is fine if they hook-up with her. For most guys (and I stress most) the cardinal rule is not to hook-up with a super drunk girl- but a lot of times the line between drunk and just tipsy is blurry.
The second possibility is waking up to someone you aren't too familiar with, and aren't to comfortable now waking up next to. In this case, just smile politely, put on your clothes and get the hell out. You may have to hear it from your friends later, but what's done is done and you should probably think about how to avoid this happening again. To save face it’s best to not ask the guy about sex, but you can if you really want to. Of course, you’re taking the risk of hearing a lie. The true lesson is that no girl with much respect for herself should be getting drunk to the point of not remembering sex- sex is supposed to be enjoyed by both parties! Take care of yourselves girls!
“did we have sex last night?”
Now, I know a lot of you honestly don’t know this but the worst thing to do is to let the guy know that you were blackout during sex. The first step is to look around for a used condom- that’s a sure sign that you had an intimate night. Note: Guys pretty much always remember sex (because usually the machinery malfunctions if they are blackout), so letting him know that you don’t remember can be pretty hurtful. As soon as they hear that they wonder if they took advantage of you, if you’re not interested in him, and, above all, what a mess of a girl you are.
So don’t let them in on that you don’t remember and save what little dignity you have left (harsh, but true). If you’re concerned about protection and safety, well, girlfriend, you shouldn’t have gotten drunk to the point of losing memory! Women regret hook-ups more than men, so just keep that in mind when you make your hook-up decisions (there are such things as beer goggles you know). Also, some men may see flirting and friendliness as an open invitation of hooking up- especially if it’s over a night of heavy drinking- so make sure you’re not sending mixed messages. And be careful not to stick around one guy’s side all night, guys take that as a strong invitation as well.
If you find yourself in this sticky predicament there are two paths out of it. If you know the guy, and are interested in him, you should initiate another hook-up in the morning (a wake-up call). This can be a test to see how far you took it the night before and to redeem yourself by asserting yourself as an independent, confident, sexual woman. This will take away any doubt in his head that it was uncalled for. Yes, guys really do care about this and would feel hurt to learn that they took advantage of someone. Most guys think a girl is fine if they hook-up with her. For most guys (and I stress most) the cardinal rule is not to hook-up with a super drunk girl- but a lot of times the line between drunk and just tipsy is blurry.
The second possibility is waking up to someone you aren't too familiar with, and aren't to comfortable now waking up next to. In this case, just smile politely, put on your clothes and get the hell out. You may have to hear it from your friends later, but what's done is done and you should probably think about how to avoid this happening again. To save face it’s best to not ask the guy about sex, but you can if you really want to. Of course, you’re taking the risk of hearing a lie. The true lesson is that no girl with much respect for herself should be getting drunk to the point of not remembering sex- sex is supposed to be enjoyed by both parties! Take care of yourselves girls!
The old adage Kiss and No Tell, the golden rule of hookups. Too bad its not followed as closely as it should.
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