Now, with all the developments of technology, our generation has a lot more to worry about then past generations. Instead of simply writing a letter or going to someone’s house to interact, now we are faced with the increasing complexity of technology, you can email, bbm, text, call, im or facebook chat. So how much is too too much? How much or how little communication is necessary to maintain interest? Hopefully, the following do’s and don’ts will help:
1.) DON’T: repeat text
The fastest way to turn-off/irritate someone you’re interested in is to repeat text, text more than twice without getting a response in a sitting. If the person isn’t responding then they are: busy, figuring out plans, away from the phone, or not interested in talking. Instead, if you want to discuss a somewhat urgent matter (when you need a response in the next couple hours) it’s better to call instead of texting. I look at texting as similar to my facebook wall, you can leave a message for someone at any time and they will get back to you when they have time, but you know they will get the message. And you wouldn’t post multiple things back to back on people’s walls so why do it on their phone? Note: texting question marks, especially multiple ones is the most annoying, it doesn’t achieve anything making them pointless. Please avoid this at all costs, unless you want to drive someone very far away!
2.) DO: Call, when it’s important
When you have a complex issue to discuss, it can be annoying to text back and forth for hours. In this case, it is better to call. If you call and someone doesn’t answer it is appropriate to text if you need something from them or wanted to ask them a question. If you called to talk, wait for them to call you back when they become available.
3.) DO: Reply promptly
If you are keeping your options open or trying to figure out plans, don’t leave people hanging. Let them know you will get back to them, and keep your word. Another thing people find annoying is saying you’re going to call back and then not doing it because you got caught up in other things. Don’t say you’ll call back if you don’t want to, say it when you will actually do it.
4.) DO: Wait to Call/Text….but DON’T: wait too long
When you get someone’s number you should wait at least 2 or 3 days to call or text them in order to keep you from looking desperate (unless you’re calling them right away so they have your number). But make sure you call within a week, so they won’t forget who you are, AND so you don’t lose their number (especially when it’s on a business card or something that’s happened to me before). Another time you should wait to call back is when you don’t have much time to talk. It’s vexing when someone calls you back but has to cut you off in the middle of what you’re saying because they are getting on the metro/driving/need to leave/get ready. You can gauge how much people will be on the phone by past phone interactions. As a general rule, women like to talk on the phone for longer than men so I would advise leaving around 30 minutes open for returning a women’s call.
5. ) DON’T: Be Sneaky
If someone isn’t answering you, calling them from a different number or calling their house phone is not appropriate. It will make them think: why can’t this person just leave me alone? Ignoring people’s calls are also rude unless you want to make a bold statement that you don’t want to talk to them. It’s pretty obvious when you reach a voicemail after 2 rings that you were ignored.
6.) DON’T: Leave a voicemail
This is especially directed to girls: men for the most part, find the voicemail system to be a very long, complicated system so they try to avoid it, unless for professional reasons. One guy I know even let his mailbox fill up so now people can’t leave him any. I wouldn’t suggest doing that because you might miss important calls about professional inquiries or emergency situations. Also sometimes, you’re phone might run out of battery or lose service but you might get some messages when you’re phone resumes about things you missed. Try not to leave voicemails to guys because chances are they won’t get it in a timely fashion and whatever you have to say, you could also text. But leaving voicemails would be acceptable to say a significant other. Leave a cute message (about how you miss them, how much they mean to you) that you would want them listening to over and over like the voice recorder in Build-A-Bear, especially if they are traveling and you’re in different time zones. That way they will get your message and be able to save it for the future.
Finally…..and most important:
7.) DON’T: go through other people’s phones
It is considered highly intrusive and nosey to go through someone’s phone. There is a lot of personal texts and maybe pictures that aren’t for everyone’s eyes to see. Ignorance is bliss and most of things you will find, you never even wanted to know. If you have problems trusting your partner, you should work on those issues and strengthen your trust instead of snooping around to dig up dirt. Think about how you would like it someone snooped in your phone, next time you feel the urge.
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