"A Male vs. Female perspective on the Matter"
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| This picture substitutes HOES for Cheating (and it got 15 likes on FB page in one day!) |
You hear about cheating as
one of the big perils in broken relationships, refer to right diagram.
Regrettably, I have been there done that, and my ex didn't deserve it. And
consequently, I regretted it deeply and I wouldn't repeat the same relationship
blunder. Why is it so bad? Well in my female opinion, it desecrates the power
dynamic in a relationship to something that cannot ever be stabilized in the
same way again.
"But really, if you're cheating, then why are u in a relationship? Wouldn’t it be easier to break up with you insignificant other and just be free to play the field?" - Ms. Date Guru
Staying in an unhappy
relationship shows you don’t have any respect for the other person, and respect
is essential in relationships. Not being forthcoming with how you feel to your
partner is essentially lying. In relationships, trust and respect are essential
elements, like hydrogen and carbon in chemistry.
When cheating happens it
really is a shame because sexual problems in relationships are the easiest to
fix. I mean compared to baggage from last relationships, family issues (which
almost never get resolved), or long distance relationships…sexual problems can
easily be fixed with acknowledgment and commitment from both parties.
If you're stuck in a
relationship for legal (marriage) or physical (cohabitation) reasons, people
may have the urge to cheat but not because they need to or want to.
Subconsciously, they do it to prove to themselves that they are not trapped in
the relationship like a caged bird. As humans, we have the need and desire to
exercise our free will. When that is restrained (like Jail) that’s the worst
ethical punishment you can inflict on someone else. Mr. thinks it may be
acceptable to cheat in this situation, but doesn’t encourage it because of the
unknown, malicious affects it will have on the partner- if not in the short
term, definitely in the long term. Mr. doesn’t disparage cheating because everybody
has to make his or her own mistakes in order to learn. Don't stay faithful
because you know you should, do it because you want to.
Mr.
says, “There is never a reason to cheat. NEVER…regardless of any urge you feel.
When you enter a relationship, you have to somewhat sacrifice your perogative
in favor of your partner, you have to be able to adjust and compromise. (Ms.
Date Guru says: The compromise must be equal on behalf of both parties). So how
do you have the right to do an injustice to someone you care about just because
“you're tired of the same ‘ole same ‘ole," or "I just got caught off
guard". We have to forsake ourselves in favor of our lover if we are to
find true satisfaction in a relationship. Otherwise be fuck buddies and don’t
take it to the next level, exclusivity”
So
why do people cheat? It can be boiled down to: “Cheaters are weak”…that’s why.
They seek to cheat in order to fill some insecurity they have with themselves
or with their partner. They are too weak so they succumb to the societal
pressures printed in low rate media. They follow the example of Kobe Bryant,
Tiger Woods, and countless others like Eric Benet who made a name for himself
by cheating on arguable one of the most beautiful women in the world- Halle
Berry.
In order to crack this never-ending
cycle of deceit, we need change the way we think about relationships. I’m doing
my part in spreading the awareness of the causes of cheating and its detrimental
effects not only in terms of individuals but also their current and future
relationships. Now you do your part- Don’t Cheat.
