Top 100 Reasons Why He Won't Text You Back

         In our modern technological age, an unreturned text can signal a social disaster. But sometimes you need to step back and calm down because there could be any reason why he isn't texting you back. If you take anything away from this it's that there's more reason why he can't text you that have nothing to do with you. So if you're waiting on something really important, read this list over and I'm sure he will text you by the time you finish the list- and if not here's to a great laugh. Maybe in life, it's good to have the last word, but not in texting. My favorite ones are bolded. 

1. He broke all of his fingers in an arm wrestle
2. He has a girlfriend
3. His jealous ex-girlfriend deleted the text before he saw it
4. He is under the Imperius Curse and has been instructed by Voldemort to ignore you
5. His Mom cancelled the account because he never calls her
6. He left his phone in a public bathroom
7. He’s waiting another hour so he doesn’t look desperate
8. His phone fell out of his pocket in his car and he can’t reach the spot under the seat
9. He heard a rumor about you and is trying to figure out if it’s true before he texts you back
10. He’s bummed you stole his thunder and texted him first
11. He dropped his phone in the toilet
12. He knows you have friends who write for Her Campus and doesn’t want to be on the next Asshole-O-Meter
13. He has an STD…he’s doing you a favor.
14. He decided texting is ruining his social skills so only wants to talk to you in person
15. He’s in class and actually puts his phone on silent
16. He is on a plane to Australia
17. He still can’t figure out how to use T9
18. He’s at the gym
19. His childhood pet just died and he’s too sad to flirt
20. He thought the outfit you wore to the mixer was supposed to be serious
21. He doesn’t like you. (Sorry)
22. He’s stoned
23. He’s stoned and involved in a serious round of Mario Kart
24. He thinks that he texted you back, but he’s currently sexting one of the other 23 Sarah’s in his phone by mistake
25. He lost a bet and isn’t allowed to talk to hot girls for 30 days
26. He doesn’t get service on campus
27. He can’t read
28. He doesn’t speak English
29. He’s still drunk
30. He left his phone in the pocket of his pants, which are now in the laundry
31. He got diagnosed with a particularly painful case of carpel tunnel syndrome
32. He’s a concert pianist who needs to rest his fingers before a big concert
33. He stalked you on Facebook and thought your joke relationship status was real
34. You’re his TA
35. He realized he once hooked up with your sister
36. He’s waiting until 2am so he doesn’t have to talk to you sober
37. He forgot that girls like to text even if we have nothing to say
38. He’s an Orthodox Jew who observes Shabbat—and you texted him on Friday night
39. He’s madly in love with you and doesn’t think he’ll be able to engage in small talk without passionately declaring his feelings.  And that would be weird.
40. You used an obscure emoticon or said “lol”, “u 2,” or “g2g” in your text to him, so he knew it wouldn’t work out
41. He works for the CIA
42. He’s pledging a frat...enough said
43. He doesn’t want you to find out that he’s really 35 and married
44. Because you also emailed, skyped, g-chatted, tweeted, Facebooked, called, and faxed him
45. He’s in love with your best friend
46. He gave up technology for Lent
47. He just got a manicure and doesn’t want to mess it up* (*SEE NUMBER 22)
48. He’s busy
49. He caught you Facebook stalking him in the library
50. He’s texting his sister at the same time and doesn’t want to send the wrong text to the wrong girl (disaster!)
51. He has decided to become Amish since you last spoke
52. He’s broke and assumes texting you will lead to spending money on you
53. He’s taking a vow of silence
54. He heard you’re texting half of his fraternity as well
55. He sobered up
56. He’s at work
57. He’s running a marathon
58. He’s at a movie marathon
59. His phone died and he can’t find the charger
60. He’s considering joining the priesthood
61. He heard you’re actually a classy, nice girl, and he’s not into that
62. He doesn’t want to lead you on
63. He’s with his bros and doesn’t want to be caught “cute” texting
64. He’s involved in an intense game of World of Warcraft (this is not your loss)
65. He’s on the phone with his Mom
66. He doesn’t have a texting plan?
67. His phone is buried under the mountain of laundry he’s waiting to take home over break
68. He’s too busy analyzing the new Kanye West album
69. He thinks you’re out of his league
70. He prefers high school girls
71. Your text didn’t warrant a response
72. He’s in shock
73. He’s having a “guy’s night”
74. He forgot
75. Because it’s only been, like, twenty minutes. Calm the eff down, girl
76. His phone died
77.  There was a family emergency
78.  He was just eating something sticky and hasn’t gotten around to washing his hands
79. He’s in jail
80. His phone was stolen
81. He realized his friend likes you, so bro code says he shouldn’t text you back
82. He’s driving
83. He has mono
84. You texted the wrong guy
85. He’s worried his phone is being wiretapped and he doesn’t want to incriminate himself
86. He saved your number as something funny (“Candy the Stripper”) and forgot who it was
87. He forgot to get your number so he doesn’t know who texted him
88. He read the text in his sleep and then thought it was a dream
89. He didn’t get the joke you just made and feels stupid
90. He forgot to pay his phone bill and his account has been cancelled
91. He was really angry and threw his phone against the wall
92.  He has the iPhone “drunk dialer app” and he can’t figure out how to unlock his phone
93. He’s not a big texter, he prefers talking on the phone
94. He’s trying to think of something funny to say
95. He is taking a (really long) nap
96. He’s worried you only texted him as a joke or to win a bet (circa every teen movie from the ‘90s)
97. He’s gay
98. He talked to one of your ex-boyfriends who told him you’re a psycho
99. He’s watching a sports game
100. He thought the pimple on your lip was herpes

Taken from the orignial article on http://hercampus.com/love/100-reasons-why-he-hasnt-responded-your-text. And make sure to check out Her Campus Maryland, I am the Marketing Director and a common guest blogger at www.hercampus.com/umd.