The Bro Code: The unwritten guy law for all things girl

         Since I am very familiar with the amendments of girl law, I sought to find out what the real bro law is to the opposite sex. I have come into contact with it many times when guy friends  tell me stories of their broken friendships, aka "beef", over ex's, hook-ups, and girlfriends. So I went on a mission to record the unwritten law that many girls and guys are unaware to prevent the unintentional murder of friendships for all mankind!
          While researching the blog, I went to the source. I talked to about 20 guys and asked them the tough questions. My sample size were many different types of guys from the jock type to frat guys to nerdy guys, and even a jewish, white rapper and they were representative of many ages and races too. Before we proceed, I'de like to define "bro" www.urbandictionary.com defines it as: close friends; buds; pals; comradarie. Used in a sentence, "hey, he's my bro, I watch his back, and he watches mine, we're like brothers, yah know?" But, based on general consensus in guy world, there are 2 primary definitions, it could either mean one of your best friends that would do anything for you, like a best man. Or, not someone who would take a bullet for you but someone who is decently loyal, like your fraternity brothers or your roommates in college.  

Guy Constitution:

     I. First Amendment: "Bros Before Hoes"

It’s the golden rule in guy world. A friend drew this great mathemetical representaion of it, Friendship > women. When bros think their friend is spending too much time with your girl than them, which by the words of my friend Mike Conners is "unacceptable" and it is called being "pussy whipped". This is especially the case when the girlfriend is younger because she is less independent and tends to be more clingy he said.

    II.  Second Amendment: Friendships with Girlfriends of Bros

Generally, hanging out with her without him present is crossing the line. Of course us girls, like to be friendly with his friends and gain approval to encourage a relationship to develop. But flirting with his friends is taking it too far, make sure you are paying attention to how your jokes and dress can come across and avoid sometimes you can take it too far.  When a girl mentions randomly how much she is attracted to one of her guy's bros he will warn him when he really trusts him, to keep away. But he will keep it to himself if he doesn’t really trust his friend and try to keep them apart if he doesn't really trust him. When his friend hits on you, be polite but not encouraging, and warn your guy.

    III. Third Amendment: Ex Code

This is pretty complex and complicated issue. It’s hard to reach a consensus across the board. But one thing is certain, if you do get involved with a friend of your ex, don’t keep it secret. Guys will feel more betrayed by their friend wasn’t honest with them than they would be by their ex. But guys get bothered when you use their friends as your dating pool post break up, and often this is why girls get reputations for being slutty. Guys are more bothered by physical intimacy with their friends than emotional intimacy. Whether our aim is to get revenge or to make him jealous; getting involved with an ex’s friends is a bad idea unless the feelings are sincere and would justify a possible dissolved friendship.

    IV. Fourth Amendment: Dumping:

Sometimes, when your girl is incompatible with their man’s group of friends, she will probably get dumped. So, earning the respect of his friends and being friendly is a must especially when he is very close with his friends. But keep the second amendment in mind. Usually when guys disapprove they have their friends best interests in mind and since they are an objective, third party, they are usually right about their suspicions. Even if he doesn’t listen, the friends will slowly phase him out and often the relationship will end anyway. 

"Don't believe anyone while drunk, in love, or running for office"

          Inspired by the lyrics in Ke$ha's new song, "Your love is my drug" I couldn't agree more. Being in love can screw up your judgement as as much as being under the influence. But still, it effects men and women differently. My conventional wisdom is, guys think more clearly after a hook up and women think more clearly before a hook-up. So as women, we should secure our bargaining power by waiting to hook up until you have secured that respect from men. When men have spent enough time around you to know you as a person a personal details like your obsession with the Phillies, your cockapoo named Daisy, or the fact that you're a total book worm, than they form attachment to you as a person and are less likely to "hit it and quit it". And if you find that a guy is unwilling to stick around when you don't hook-up with him than that is a red flag- don't pursue these types of guys. The movie, Wedding Crashers didn't coin the phrase, "stage 5 clinger" for no reason. So be careful, and take emotions out of the equation when deciding to be intimate with your man because once you do have sex, women naturally become more attached and a little less rational. Save yourself from looking pathetic, if I had a quarter for every time a guy told me a story about a girl who was "psycho" I would be a rich women. But since I don't, I will take it upon myself to spread my expertise and hopefully save one women at a time. A symptom of this love induced psychosis that Ke$ha mentions is when you notice you gives you a "high" and you feel happy when you are with him and unhappy when he's not around. Don't become emotionally dependant on anyone ever, that breeds unhealthy relationships. So sometimes, unhealthy relationships come out of fast hook-ups, refer to slow and steady wins the race.

The Guidelines To Surprising Girls

      Between all the romantic comedies girls watch, girls’ expectation of courting and romance has changed. Guys are feeling the pressure to do things bigger and better than ever before to get girls attention. But those helicopter messages and bed of roses are highly overrated. I personally think the best things in life are free. I think that a simple serenade is more romantic than a lavish limo ride followed by an ocean view dinner or an expensive necklace. Many guys think women love surprises but that isn’t necessarily the case.  

Wait until you know the girl well to surprise her, definitely don’t do it on a first date. Getting to know a girl better will shed insight about her feelings of the unexpected, and spontaneity. For example, girls that are picky eaters at restaurants will usually be unappreciative of surprises, because it’s out of her control. Taking a girl to a surprise place, is less risky though so if you need to test the way she reacts to surprises, than try taking her to you favorite park or one of your favorite site seeing spots in the near by city. Guys should primarily be he one surprising girls because it shows that he is comfortable making decisions, or “wearing the pants” in the relationship. Be careful getting her best friend or mom in on an elaborate plan because there’s a risk they might tell.

In terms of gifts, if you get a girl a gift and she doesn’t like it, than it may do more harm than good because she’ll be disappointed. Also don’t play up a surprise or surprise date, it is a very good idea to take the initiative and plan things and it shows thought that you took effort and that you care about her which girls like. But when you build a surprise up, she might be disappointed just like prom, for example, that was built up with anticipation in teen magazines and from dress shopping, and all the money spent on primping that the actual night was eclipsed in comparison.