Love Shyness

Love shyness is a real disorder that’s affecting many social phobic college-age men. love-shy people find it close to impossible to assert themselves in social situations in romantic and sexual encounters with the opposite sex, although they may be fairly comfortable in friendly situations because f the large amount of social anxiety (that something bad will happen).

It’s a real issue: love-shyness afflicts approximately 1.5% of American males and will prevent about 1.7 million U.S. males from ever marrying or experiencing intimate sexual contact with women!

People effected with love shyness are usually characterized by the following:

You are an adult male

You have never, or very rarely had girlfriends

You have never, or very rarely had sex

You have remained single while all your friends dated and got married

You are so inhibited by your fear of asking a woman for a date that you never do

- Wikipedia

Causes may be due to bullying in school due to their shyness and inhibition so they may have fragile self-esteems and egos, making them strong targets. Another cause may parental upbringing, where they might have been abused whether verbally or physically, negative comparisons, or plain indifference. This may cause the love shy male to build a shell around to protect himself and further isolating himself. They may even avoid social situations with their peers as well the opposite sex; making this a “vicious cycle” inhibiting further social interactions. And a good friend of mine, “The only way to break a continuous cycle is by some kind of external force.” That force is change, you need to be eased in to force to change your habits

The DENNIS System

Recently when I was watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I saw this episode on the DENNIS System. Now for those who don’t know, the Dennis system stands for: 

D: Demonstrate Your Value (catch her attention with something impressive or nice) 

E: Engage Physically (without taking the girl on a date) 

N: Nurture Dependence like making her depend on your fictional angry neighbor that’s bothering her) 

N: Neglect Emotionally (Like not taking her phone calls, frightening her. Subsequently, it will make clingy questions self esteem) 

I: Inspire Hope (Which will make it that much harder when you break it off) 

S: Separate Entirely (because she would take you back anytime)

        It made me think: are Guys are delusional? They try to make these complex systematic strategies to win girls hearts. These are present not only on comedies but in real life. Think about that wing man, or what about the nice guy that swoops in after a girl gets her heart broken by an insensitive prick. I think most girls can agree that the only sure fire way to get a girl is to be your (best) self, be charming, and act like a gentleman. Try to get to know the girl and being funny is a plus because it diffuses any tension or awkwardness. As I always say, the best pick up like is introducing yourself and using casual humor. But I gave the DENNIS system a make-over, follow this DENNIS system and you will have girls swooning over you:

D: Demonstrate Good Character (Don't be shady, girls respect qualities in guys like consistent, hardworking, dedicated)

E: Engage in Conversation (Get to know her and make sure the conversation isn't one sided)

N: No Means No (respect her intentions to take it slow)

N: Never Lie (In order to build trust with her)

I: Initiate Making Plans (That will let her know you're interested)

S: Slow and Steady Wins the Race (if you want something solid, you should take it slow)

All the guys out there please note: I wouldn’t advise getting your dating advice from a sitcom.