Dating Etiquette: when is the first kiss and other such moves appropriate?
After how many dates is it acceptable to turn up the heat? Ah, the age-old question: struggling to find the happy medium between not-so-patiently waiting (and waiting...and waiting...) for him to lean in for a goodnight kiss, and launching oneself full-throttle onto one’s victim in a hurried Cougar frenzy, the modern woman still strives to find that definitive guide that dictates how long exactly she should wait before moving up a level...a guide that unfortunately can never exist! So instead, let’s consider the situational details, equipped with which you can make an informed decision as to whether it’s the right moment to (sorry) ‘touch base’.
The kiss
You’ve wined, dined and laughed over sparkling champagne and conversation, he walks you to the doorwith a gentlemanly hand placed around your waist and you can already feel the butterflies...
Enter silver-screen, movie-magic, love-song perfect first kiss. Whether it’s the first date or the tenth –if you can tick those boxes, it’s definitely time to lean in! Conversely, if garlic and/or onions have been on the menu, make sure you have a mint (x2) to hand or forgetaboutit...
The above-waist-fondle
Either the kiss was that good that things progress further, or this happens after a few more dates. Either way, things are heating up. Usually, this stage goes hand in hand with the next, and depending on how things are going, you’ll know whether to suddenly fake a family emergency and show him the door, or to continue on to...
The below-waist fondle
Does he qualify to cross the panty-line? How quickly you get here and what you decide is really
dependent on how you feel. By now you should have an idea as to whether this Prince is really Charming. If he’s a total Lothario (LINK: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lothario) and you’re more of a one-guy girl, stay clear. Thing to remember: make sure you’re on the same page before you get to the next step – so there are no surprises. By all means, if you’re both looking for some fun, go ahead. After all, as R.Kelly so wisely crooned, there ain’t nothing wro-ong..with a little bump ‘n grind... (LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAXxkNaRkp8)
The all-the-way
Looks like he’s made the cut! When you take this step depends on a number of factors, but make sure you’re clear about what you want from it, otherwise things could get messy. You may immediately realize that all you’re (both) after is a bit of fun, in which case why wait? Otherwise, you may reach this stage after a few more dates, during which you took the time to get to know a bit more about your new beau.My advice to you: If you see romantic dating potential in the guy, hold out a little longer just to be sure, but if all you feel is sexual tension, let it out!
Voilà. Unfortunately, no one can tell you that after 3 dates you’re allowed to take it up a notch, or that if you leave it longer than 10 dates to take him upstairs that he’ll lose interest and ditch you for an easy ride. Ultimately, you, your date and what you want from your own particular situation will dictate how fast or slow you move. I’ll leave you with the three golden (and general) rules you should keep in mind: go with the flow, don’t let yourself be pressured, and above all, trust your instincts.
Simple! Right..?
Emily Bate is a writer for 3six5dates, which follows four women in four cities as they take on 365 dates between them. To find out more about dating dos and don’ts and how our girls “go with the flow”, check out 3six5dates.
You can follow Emily on Twitter @EmBateSays or on LinkedIn here.
