Many girls are under the assumption that after they hook up with a guys whether it be a random fling or friends with benefits that things will be awkward after. This is not always the case, in fact some of my bad hook-ups have turned into my close friends. Here’s how I turned those relationships around.
First, you have to leave the past in the past. You must complete your future so it’s doesn’t shape your present being and consequentially your future.” Don’t walk into a situation with past memories, doubts and social anxiety. Time heals all wounds. Even if there was a terrible falling out, if enough time has past, it will be minimized. If there is still some tension between you, you might have to go back to it and resolve it in order to move forward in the relationship, given sufficient time has past and you are both willing to resolve the conflict. Relationships go both ways and aren’t successful one sided.
Men are a lot more easy going than women are. But chances are if you chat with a guy or girl comfortably as if nothing is lingering they will roll with it. People don’t like to create bad energy and if they see that you aren’t bothered by something, they may question any bad feelings towards you. Also, a characteristic of guilty people is being defensive, so if you show you are open and calm, it would be hard to be viewed negatively.
You have to see what things are left that link you two. If you met at a study group or even a party you still have those things in common. Look back at old conversations, do any of the same interests still hold? Also mutual friends provide an equally essential link. If you know the same people you can get to know them again and transform the relationship through mutual friends and gatherings. If you find that the only thing keeping you together was sex than it is unlikely to salvage any type of healthy, satisfying relationship; and you must question your motives behind wanting to repair the relationship.
The less expectation you have in the new relationship, the better. Even if you want to be friends chill out on asking for favors until the relationship has been reinforced. A resusitated relationship is like a deck of cards, weak. So don’t go in expecting to be best friends or start dating, people may perceive they are being forced to do something and most likely will resist.
In my experience, I have found a sexual incapatibility or a personality quirk that prevents me from continuing with a hook up. But a lot of them have turned into really good friends because we started the foundation of the relationship by getting to know each other while hooking up. Don’t see “the game” and hooking up as a waste of time if they go badly, you may get some great friends or possible love interest in different context as time goes by and you get more mature.
