Today one of my lovely friends, Jenna, asked me what I could not do without and the first thing that came to my mind was sex. Then I stopped to think, maybe it could be a bad thing to turn sex into an indispensable activity. So, naturally, I wanted to ask my sister, Christina, who’s been practicing continence, partly due to her yoga practice, to “enlighten” me on the subject.
She said the thing that started it was her yoga teacher-training program, but before that she had a typical college-aged sex life. Since yoga encompasses all facets of life, far beyond the physical workout, the students in the program were taught and encouraged to practice different "sutras" each week, like honesty, non-stealing, non-violence, and continence, or "self-restraint or abstinence, esp. in regard to sexual activity; temperance; moderation." The importance of celibacy was stressed as a means of conserving energy and seminal fluid which could otherwise get stored and then turned into "prana," or lifeforce. The frequent expellation of seminal fluid can actually leave you drained of energy physically and emotionally- males are advised to evaluate the frequency of their..."intimate alone time". In women, frequent sexual intercourse can drain the energy needed to nurture and have good relationships. The metaphor she used was that “only a fully charged battery can give power, not a drained one.”
Another good point was made: if sex was necessary for love then how could a brother and sister or a mother and son love eachother?
There is still love in the absence of sex. Yoga stresses the importance of always acting with kindness and love, but also of moderating the physical show of love in the form of sex. The ideal situation is the madly in love couple that is married and wants to have children, but this scenario may also be archaic these days. What is important is to share the experience with someone truly special. Especially for the female, the act of intercourse is invasive, and only the extremely well qualified should be allowed entry. The well-known sexual philosophy called tantric sex focuses on a union between a man and women that harnesses energy instead of expending it.
In fact, she said that the absence of sex has created energy to do more things for herself and change her priorities. Through her yoga training, she started having less time to party and meet boys, which naturally enabled experimentation with continence. And it has enabled her to appreciate and respect herself more; she no longer wanted to give herself to just anyone. I expressed how I thought people glamorized sex to be this great and “cool” thing it isn’t, but she elaborated that by it becoming commercially glamourized and everyone doing it, it actually de-valued the act. Sex should be a significant spiritual connection.
When you make your body available to someone you don't even care about, you may feel remorse and it will be further emphasized by a depletionof the most important thing: life force or volition. Christina is looking forward to having that spiritual and explosive sexual connection with a man, but until then she is enjoying just getting to know people on a plutonic basis, no strings attached.It has been incredibly rewarding, fulfilling, and helpful to her. When paired with the yoga practice, it has led her to be more in shape, mentally calm, more scholarly and generally more open to experience. Now, feeling lighter and more enlightened, I am motivated to give this one a shot.
