Saturday, July 24, 2010

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

I was watching the news and saw the top 5 lies men tell women and thought that I need to pass this information along. You can find this and other useful information on www.twitter.com/CNN.

1.) I didn't have that much to drink
2.) Nothing is wrong, I'm fine
3.) (when they get lost) There was no sign
4.) No, it doesn't belong to another girl, those are your _____ (ex. panties, hair, necklace etc.) 
5.) I'm on the way


Just goes to show, you can't take everything men say for face value and again "actions speak louder than words". So don't be so forgiving to guys excuses and lies.

Deal Breakers

There may come a time when you're dating someone and you simply can't move forward once you discover something about them, this is a deal breaker aka red flag, non-negotiables. As you date more and more people, you will have a better idea of what your non-negotiables are. Some deal breakers like religion and age can warrant an instant break up, no matter how great the person is. these are usually the hardest and most painful breakups, the kind that require me consoling crying friends. This is another reason why taking it slow in relationships is a great idea. When you get to know the person well first, the deal breakers will come up before you have invested significant emotions and time in the relationship. I see many of my friends make the same mistakes with guys such as dating guys in relationships or forgiving cheaters and then they see the same results. As Albert Einstein said, insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. For example, a friend Liz keeps dating consistent partiers and she subsequently feels neglected by her man. Although she may like a popular social guy, what she may need is a quiet, homebody would invest more and be a more devoted boyfriend to her which would suit her better. Some other common red flags to look out for are: STDS, age, religion (especially if one of you is very religious), married or in a relationship, psycho ex girlfriends, and cheating. So watch out!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Is the Double Standard Restricting Us From Being Single?

         The double standard, it's the difference between how people perceive male and female promiscuity, and it's still a harsh truth in this day and age.  Women have been acquired more and more new rights and responsibilities along with the more liberal view of sex compared to those in the past; which has been tightening the gap between the double standard but it has not been extinguished.  Some women do not understand this phenomena and act as if it didn't exist, but being aware of it is the first step to securing a proud reputation for yourself.

       It is a harsh reality that people would judge a women who had 10 partners more harshly than a man with the same amount of partners. Evolutionarily, men value girls that are chaste and faithful. You hear it all the time in rap, Ludacris said, "I want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. " And men are protecting themselves from living out the worst nightmare. Kanye West puts it best, "18 years and on the 18th birthday he found out he wasn't his" from Gold Digger. If you're single and seeing a guy, why would he judge you for seeing other guys as well? Isn't that what being single is all about? Consider the common case, when she has a boyfriend but he doesn't have a girlfriend, why should that be right?

        Well when you are "seeing someone" they will view non-exclusivity as a personal dig, and in a sense it is. My player friend, Josh says he went from girlfriend to girlfriend because he liked small parts of each one, and he couldn't find "the whole package". And when you are hooking up or sleeping with multiple people-even when you're single you are telling them they are insufficient and they can't satisfy you. Which hurts a man's pride and vulnerable ego. Girls don't have such a vunerable ego, instead they are more sensitive to rejection. The factor is compounded especially when you are dating multiple people in the same social circle because it hits closer to home. Be careful who you're dating so you don't mess with others feelings and your own, or else you may be staying single.